Tuesday, January 29, 2008

LIST MANIA!!!!

Uhhhh...nerd. This is The Donk.


I know it is only the end of January but I feel there is a hole in my heart, a void in my soul, or, as the French say, “Je suis froid”*. I am having list withdrawal. And the only way to get through withdrawal is going cold turkey or getting a little bit at a time until you are able to stop. Well neither option is very attractive so I came upon a great little website that will let you indulge your addiction to lists. List Universe is the GREATEST list website out there...probably the only list website (the site was down when I tried earlier). This website probably took up at least 38% of my day today.

The list that is making the rounds on the news sites is the “bizarre products sold through Amazon” list. So sit back, grab a cold one and enjoy your fix of list for the day (it’s safer than meth).

Bizarre Products you can buy from Amazon.com:

--The Donk. Some Star Wars contraption that moved that fat guy around…except this doesn’t hover it has wheels. Some nerd will pay $20,000 for it.

--Wolf Urine. (I don't mean the really non-straight acting American Gladiator) Its product description says, “Promises to keep members of the opposite sex away from you…forever.” If you look at the Amazon page…someone left a review with the title, “A tad disappointing”…what was he expecting?

--Stop Eating Poop cream. Above description will work as well…except this product is for pets.
--Dr. John's Famous Pee Pee. Dr. John is only 3…that is why he still calls it pee-pee. Actually it is a way to outsmart a urine test.

--Uranium. The product description says it is useful for testing Geiger counters. Who the hell has a Geiger counter lying around the house?

There is your list fix for the day. I am proud to say I have not purchased any of these products but the poop cream seems pretty tempting.

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Footnote:

*That French phrase actually means “I am cold” but whenever you insert a French phrase into anything it automatically makes it more intelligent. Which is weird since the French aren’t very intelligent.