NFL Unveils Vick's 2008 Jersey

From The Onion.com

NFL reports strong sales of Vick's 2008 Jersey:

Spoiled Athletes Acting Like Spoiled Athletes

This past Monday, the San Diego Chargers and Denver Broncos faced off. And by 'faced off' I mean San Diego destroyed Denver in a 37-3 blowout. I'm not a fan of either team, so I didn't watch the whole game, and, thus, missed the big controversy:



Did I miss something there? The commentators reacted like Rivers just denied the Holocaust happened or something. As far as I can tell, Rivers and his Charger buddies were just making sure Cutler and the Broncos understood that they were getting their a** kicked, and there was nothing they could do about it.

I can't help but remember back to the middle of the NFL season when everyone was getting wrapped around the axle because the Patriots were running up the score on people. It's professional sports. Their job is to play a game, and when you don't do the job you get paid millions of dollars to do, expect to get trashed talked.

Is it the best sportsmanship? Nope. But what Rivers and company were doing is no different than the stuff that comes out of a linebacker or defensive ends mouth when they sack a quarterback. Are quarterbacks supposed to act better than the other players? I think Michael Vick answered that question for us.

This point is all but lost on Champ Bailey who, apparently, got his feelings hurt and decided to lash out on Rivers, questioning his abilities (full article here). Now here's where I make a distinction. Trash talk on the field - good to go. You're in the heat of the moment, lots of adrenaline, blah, blah, blah. Trash talk to reporters in the locker room or at the press conference after the game: cheap shot.

When Dallas played New England, the whole week leading up to the game, Terrel Owens posted a sign on his locker that said something like, "Due to the magnitude of the upcoming game, the real #81 is declining to speak about the other #81. I will be available for questions after the game."We all know what happened from there - Dallas got spanked, and TO looked like a jackass....again. Why couldn't he just not put a sign out and simply decline interviews. Oh well.

So, to sum up, Rivers taunting Cutler is nothing to cause concern or get worked up about. I think the NFL has much bigger image problems to deal with - Vick, the gangster culture, how to beat the Patriots, etc. At the end of the day, one has to remember that most skill players in the NFL are prima donas, especially the quarterbacks, and it shouldn't surprise people when they act like spoiled children.

Decent Commentary With a Little Dry Humor

For those D&F readers out there that spend countless hours each day in front of a computer - either by choice or because it's a primary function of your job - here's a website that offers good commentary on various world topics with some dry-wit thrown in for good measure.

SteynOnline

Of particular note, Mr. Steyn lays into former New Mexico governor Bill Richardson for his idiotic comments following the assassination of Benazir Bhutto.

"Her death, and the deaths of so many of her supporters, is more than just a tragedy. It is a testament to the will of the Pakistani people to see democracy restored."

Um, so is Governor Bill saying that assassination and suicide bombings are acceptable tactics to further the spread of democracy? I'm guessing that Governor Bill simply misspoke and didn't form his sentence correctly. He then goes onto bring the Bush administration into the argument, which is how every Democratic Presidential candidate ends every thought that goes through their heads - 'Hey, I think I'll have some pizza tonight, and I'm sure the pizza costs more than it would if I were in office due to the Bush Administrations reckless economic policy that only benefits the rich.' Huh?

Nonetheless, Mr. Steyn brings up some good points. Read some of the articles if you have time, or just continue to surf YouTube for the next 'Chocolate Rain' video.

P.S. - Thanks to B1 for the lead

Militant Islamic Cowards in Pakistan Strike Again

Today, Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. This marks a tragic turn in the history of Pakistan. I am not sure what exactly former Prime Minister Bhutto believed in. For all I know she was advocating the withdrawal of US Troops from the Middle East. However, I am pretty sure she was pro-Western. I am not sure what she would have done if she were to be elected January 8 to lead the country once again that she loved. However I do know that she was an opposition candidate who was campaigning on change. The fact that she wanted to change a corrupt government and bring it into the 21st Century was enough for cowards to shoot her twice and blow themselves up in order to prevent that change.

As I said, I do not know much about Mrs. Bhutto...but Wikipedia does. If you want to know about her life, her career and what she was willing to sacrifice for the cause of freedom and democracy then skim through the article. Here are the cliff notes. She was elected twice to be Prime Minister and twice dismissed by the President on bogus (people claim) corruption charges. Her father was a former Prime Minister as well who was hanged after being convicted of similar corruption and conspiracy charges. Her two brothers were murdered. She went into self-imposed exile in 1998 and decided to return to her native Pakistan in October of this year to run for Prime Minister…again. She was well aware of the danger to her own life by returning but she was a fervent supporter of democracy in Pakistan. Enough so that she was willing to die for the cause.

We are not sure who is behind the attack. Al-Qaeda is claiming responsibility...but "terrorism" experts says this is not their MO. People say that elements of the Pakistani Intelligence community could have been behind it…if that is the case than Pervez Musharraf (Pakistan’s President) must be brought up on some type of charge. However I do not think he would be behind this…he has way too much to loose; American money, support, and protection. I am not sure who did it…but I am sure that it was someone or some group who has perverted Islam and did not want to see a woman come into a Muslim country and modernize it. They were threatened by a woman leading them into a civilized society. This is what the world is up against. Instead of taking their fight to the ballot box (which civilized people do)…they bring the bullets to the streets. Instead of being human about things…they decide to be monsters. This was a mother, a daughter and a wife. This was someone who was running for political office…and she was gunned down. Radical Islam is the most dangerous threat to the world…and to our civilization. This is what we are fighting and the WORLD (not just the USA) can not stand for it.

I can’t wait for the militant Islamic sympathizers to come out and defend this monstrosity. Whoever is behind this should not be prosecuted…they should be hunted down. If Pervez Musharraf (who has been disappointing) is serious about democracy in Pakistan he will implement the changes that Bhutto campaigned and gave her life for. If that does not happen…the USA needs to reevaluate its relationship with Pakistan.

D&F to Paris Hilton: HA-HA!

From NYDailynews.com:

Hotel magnate Barron Hilton announced yesterday that he's leaving 97% of his wealth to charity, dramatically cutting the fortune his children and grandkids will get.

Wow, this really is a Christmas miracle. If there's one thing that really gets me in the holiday spirit, it's seeing an over-privileged, coked-up, heiress watching her $100 million inheritance get "re-allocated" to charity. Paris could get a measly $5 million now. Again, HA-HA!

Alas, this feeling of glee is going to be short-lived. Before, I had to endure the stories of Paris running around, making sex tapes, getting drunk and subsequent DUI charges, partying at all hours, and vapidly calling things "hot." Now, I'm going to have to hear the talking heads speculate as to how Paris could possible survive now that she is no longer going to be in the $100-million club.

I've got to hand it to Paris Hilton. She's dumb, has absolutely no talent, and is a harbinger of the apocalypse, if not one of the four horsemen herself. But she managed to take a very, very, very boring sex tape and turn it into millions of dollars. Do you know people pay her a large sum of money just to show up at a club and drink?

Oh well. If Paris had actually done something to earn this money, and then it was taken away, I might feel bad. But Paris hasn't done jack, and, therefore, shouldn't receive anything. Nor should people feel bad that she's only going to get $5 million from her grandfather as opposed to $100 million.

Winner of the Caption Contest

The rest of Jared's Brothers decided not to take the Subway Challenge.---Jane

Congratulations Jane...you are now a Floyd Landis Award winner. You can't put a price tag on that.

Idiot of the Day

The tiger killed someone, mauled two others and ripped some dudes arm off. Yeah...I really miss him. I miss him like I would miss the HIV. Thank you San Fransisco for producing people like this...and giving us all reasons not to live there. Here is the caption that went along with the photo:

Leigh Lawson stands in front of the San Francisco Zoo on Wednesday, Dec. 26, 2007, protesting the killing of a Siberian tiger that killed one person and injured two others on Christmas Day. Police officers shot the tiger after it escaped from its enclosure and attacked the three visitors. Lawson, picketing alone, outside the zoo Wednesday afternoon, says she wishes officers had tranquilized the animal instead.

The sign should read "Honk If You Miss Reality." Lets make sure all cops carry tiger tranquilizers with them from now on. Smile Leigh...you are D&F Idiot of the Day.

TSTWBTAT

Hope everyone had a great Christmas. Now back to the important stuff...TSTWBTAT for December 27, 2007:

In Patriots going for some kind of record news:
Everyone can see The Pats probably crush The Giants...Go Giants!!

In a holiday that really isn't a holiday news:
It's a Kwanzaa miracle!!!

In Rudy Giuliani news:
A noun, a verb and 9/11...Giuliani uses 9/11 once again.

In "sorry fat kids" news:
The Wii won't make you skinny...who knew?

In the real story is in buried news:
Chuck Norris' real name is Carlos Ray Norris...say it ain't so.

In health news:
Health myths that even doctors think are true...or do they?

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas to all the D&F'ers out there. The family is starting to arrive so we will be going on a little break. We will be back December 26...when some of us have to work. Merry Christmas!!

Uh oh...this is going to make the NEA mad

There is now a searchable database for teachers that have been reprimanded by their districts. According to The Herald-Tribune (who compiled the database), the list ranges from “serious misconduct” to failure to repay student loans. Obviously someone who failed to repay a student loan is not that huge a deal…especially since teachers make crap wages.

I am a big fan of teachers…they make sure that our young grow up and are able to function in a society. However there are horrible teachers out there and maybe this database will do well in weeding the bad apples out. I am sure the NEA (the powerful teacher’s union in Washington) will be really upset over this and will probably try to get it shut down…but why? Wouldn’t they want to represent the best of the best? Wouldn't they want the bad teachers out of the classrooms? Oh yeah…I forgot, it’s a union…they have no standards.

For those teachers out there that are awesome…like my fourth grade teacher Mrs. Fultz or our Aunt Margaret…there is nothing to worry about. This is for those teachers like Debra Lafave or Isaac Tillis (although hopefully they are fired before people find out about it from a database). I think parents have a right to know if their child’s teacher has a clean background and hopefully this database will provide that information to them.

Bowl Predictions

Even though I was not even close in my prediction last night...I will not stop. I am as accurate as Kirk Herbstreit and Lee Corso combined. All they do is pick the non-SEC team to win and they look like idiots. Here are my predictions for the all bowl games up to December 23.

December 21

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl (ESPN2 8pm Eastern)

Memphis 21

Florida Atlantic 24

December 22

PapaJohns.com Bowl (ESPN2 1pm Eastern)

Southern Mississippi 10

Cincinnati 24

New Mexico Bowl (ESPN 4:30pm Eastern)

Nevada 10

New Mexico 13

Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl (ESPN 8pm Eastern)

UCLA 21

BYU 35

December 23

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl (ESPN 8pm Eastern)

Boise State 42

East Carolina 21

Ruin Romo??

I might be one of the few people that like Tony Romo but these guys seem to have a problem with him and his girlfriend (the link went dead). It actually is a pretty funny idea, but why Romo? He seems like a good guy who has dated 2 of my top 5 “Hotties in Hollywood” (Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood). So for all you Carolina fans out there in D&F land they want you to print out the mugshot of Jessica and take it to the game tomorrow.

While this is funny and all I don’t think Tony Romo was distracted by having his hot girlfriend at the game. I think people are making way too big a deal out of it (if you notice, that link is to the Times of India). I think once you get to that level of professional sports you are so in tune with what you have to do that you are not distracted by who is in the stands. Sure he had a crappy game and has had crappy games both times his hot girlfriends show up, but I would chalk that up to having crappy games. Believe me, there are always hot girls in the stands…I know from experience, if you know what I mean, and I think you do…GOD BLESS AMERICA!!

Today's Sign of the Apocalypse

From Rocky Mountain News:

VAIL — A 60-year-old man is taking an 8-year-old boy and his dad to court, claiming the third-grader caused a ski-slope collision that left the older man with a shoulder injury.

What's up with this guy? According to the article, this dude is seeking $75,000 in lost vacation time, physical therapy, and other medical and nursing bills. Does he really think the 8-year old has 75 large just sitting around? And the lawyer that's representing the 60-year old - I want to know how many lawyers he talked to that just laughed at him. Is John Edwards representing this guy in his spare time?

The victim works for Reader's Digest and is anxious to get back to work. Um, what exactly is preventing him from working at Reader's Digest? He hurt his shoulder, not his eyes. Sound like someone is a prime candidate for some insurance fraud charges.

In the bigger picture - skiing isn't some risk-free venture. Every time I go skiing, I fully expect to end up with a broken leg, scratched up face (sorry, Sean), or some other injury that would be consistent with going down a snow covered hill with 5 foot sticks strapped to your feet. It's not supposed to be safe. The mentality that everyone else is responsible for your mistakes and / or accidents has got to stop.

Oh well - it's Friday, and the last day of work for me before Christmas. The brain isn't working too well right now, so I apologize for the lack of interesting posts. I'll keep looking and perhaps I will get inspired.

With the last weekend of the shopping season here are some suggestions for that really wealthy person on your list. FoxNews has come through once again to help us out. If you are anything like me, the hardest person to shop for is that token rich friend. What to give that ridiculously rich person who has everything? How about:

• 25 hours of private jet flight time for a mere $119,900 (or you can just buy him the jet for $50 million)



• A $4.5 million bra from Victoria Secret



• Self portrait in chocolate for $110,000 (probably the dumbest gift on the list)



• The Neiman Marcus-Edition Gem Triton 1000 Submarine for $1.4 million but a 2 day training seminar is included in the price?

I am not sure if you can FedEx these gifts in time for Christmas but they are pretty sweet. So next year you know what to give me…since I am most peoples token rich friend (I am a multi-thousandaire). Try to stay away from the chocolate and submarine and the bra…lets just stick with the private jet flying time.

The Gratitude Campaign

The staff of D & F are big supporters of the brave men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces. One thing every American should do over this holiday season, regardless of their political affiliation, is say a prayer, send a card, do something, no matter how small, to thank those that sacrifice so others don't have to. Their service is truly selfless, and they rarely ask for anything in return.

B1 sent this link. The whole thing started when someone decided to thank service men and women he saw in the airport. The website encourages you to not only thank the Armed Forces, but anyone who is serving their community.

If anyone would like the name and address of some soldiers currently serving in Iraq, e-mail me at rtsawyer.2@gmail.com, and I will be happy to provide the information.

NEW RECORD!!!

Thank you D&F readers for setting a new traffic record for us yesterday. 158 unique visitors came and looked at the site. I know those numbers may seem small but this is huge considering we thought only our family was reading. If you forward D&F on to coworkers and friends...thank you. If not...why the hell not? Hopefully soon we will be able to talk about 4 digit numbers but we are happy with three digit numbers right now. Thanks again.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for December 21, 2007:

In global warming news:
Chicken Little doesn't like to see this after he claimed "the debate is over".

In why Putin nationalized certain industry news:
The Person Of The Year is also the richest man in Europe.

In American Hero news:
One of the remaining three World War I Vets dies at 109.

In God help us news:
If you don't know who Cynthia McKinney is then count yourself lucky...if you do know, well she is running for president.

In clear Bruce Willis' schedule news:
Armageddon 2?? Too bad the writers are still on strike...this could be gold...Jerry...gold.

In its about damn time news:
100 people arrested for not having toilets.

Bowl Season Is Upon Us

The NCAA Bowl Season is upon us and it is time once again to watch college football and argue about a playoff system. However, thankfully tonight there will be no such argument because both teams are pretty lame. But that shouldn't stop us from watching. No...the game is in ESPNHD...one of the better channels for HD. So sit back and enjoy the Utes (which are Utah Indians which have not seceded from the US) of Utah take on the Midshipmen of Navy. The game kicks off at 9pm Eastern on ESPN.

My projection:

Utah 17

Navy 35

Remember 'You Can't Do That On Television'?

I promise - this is the last 'Jamie Lynn Spears is Pregnant' related post I will do.

From Breitbart.com:

NEW YORK (AP) - Nickelodeon is considering a special for its young audience about sex and love following the news that 16-year-old "Zoey 101" star Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant.

So back in the day, I used to watch Nickelodeon all the friggin' time. I loved You Can't Do That on Television - the slime, the water, Barf's; Out of Control with a pre-Full House Dave Coulier; it was all classic stuff. Now I know that as I get older, the cartoons and shows for kids are going to get increasingly strange and make less sense to me. I still don't understand the fascination with Sponge Bob, and the Pokemon thing will continue to baffle me.

Anyway, not once do I remember Nickelodeon airing a 'very special' You Can't Do That on Television to explain the birds and bees to me. Is this a case of parents farming out the more uncomfortable parts of parenting to TV? Why does Nickelodeon feel it needs to step in here and solve the teen pregnancy problem in America? More importantly, do they really think it's going to make a difference?

Topics in the possible 'very special' episode of Zoey 101 include things like how do people know they're in love and when is the right time to have sex. I'm going to say it again - the two leading causes of teenage pregnancy are stupidity and raging teenage hormones. A lecture on love and perfect timing for sex is not going to overcome the powerful combination of stupidity and hormones. Nope. To effectively combat that lethal combination, you have to use fear, and lots of it.

For example, when I was a sophomore in high school, we watched The Miracle of Life in biology class. It wasn't for sex ed, but damn did that video do the job. For those of you who have not seen this little gem of documentary fun, at the end, you get to witness a birth...from the business end of things. Every single girl in that class was overcome with the fear of pain of childbirth. For 3 months after that, the most action us boys could get was some hand holding, and if we were really, really lucky, one kiss goodnight.

So, Nickelodeon should do one of two things - either scrap the idea of a very special episode altogether, or go with the fear tactic. And since today's teenagers are obviously desensitized, they'll have to up the ante. Take them to a hospital and witness the real McCoy. And for good measure, throw in some graphic STD pictures.

Caption This Photo

Caption this photo...the winner will receive the prestigious Floyd Landis Award. The contest ends Christmas Eve at Noon.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for December 20, 2007:

In break-up of the century news:
Jamie Lynn and her baby daddy are not together anymore.

In AOL chat news:
Al-Qaida Number 2 man is doing a little Q&A

In bus drivers soliciting sex while driving kids news:
Just read this one...only in Detroit.

In heroes news:
Three brothers will be deployed next month to Iraq...a pretty good story.

In IPod Touch news:
A good review of the IPod Touch

In The Mitchell Report fallout news:
Schilling is sticking it to Clemens...thats what she said.

In "10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife"(ironic) news:
As Joeschmoe pointed out...Lynn Spears' parenting book is put on hold...probably because she sucks at being a parent.

Lakota Indians Make New Country

From Foxnews.com:

WASHINGTON — The Lakota Indians, who gave the world legendary warriors Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse, have withdrawn from treaties with the United States.

"We are no longer citizens of the United States of America and all those who live in the five-state area that encompasses our country are free to join us,'' long-time Indian rights activist Russell Means said.

Well, it seems that the Lakota Indians have decided that the U.S. is not for them. More power to you guys. I don't think anyone out there is going to argue that the U.S. government has not abused the Native American population, but I'm not sure this is the best way to go about securing your future and / or attempting to rectify the wrongs of the past.

Lakota Country (I don't know if that's the real name or not) aims to issue its own passports, driver licenses, and citizens of the new country will live tax-free (provided one renounces their U.S. citizenship). Additionally, in an effort to gain recognition from other countries, Lakota Country visited the embassies of Bolivia, Chile, and South Africa. I guess they visited the embassies in Washington, D.C. because I'm pretty sure since this new country is like 4 hours old, no one has had a chance to setup a proper embassy in Lakota Country, let alone diplomatic relations.

If I were sitting in on the meeting to decide whether or not to declare my tribe independent of the U.S., here's some things that would factor into my decision:

- Lakota Country is landlocked. There is no readily available sea port. Actually, come to think of it, I'm pretty sure there is no airport large enough to handle commercial jet liners, so international travel is going to be a problem

- The only way in and out of your country right now are the roads which were probably paid for by the U.S. or state government. Not only is the maintenance on these roads going to go to hell, how are is Lakota Country going to pay for the repairs?

- Since living in Lakota Country is tax-free, how is the government going to pay for anything? Are they going to go old school and do it commune style like their ancestors? While that sounds like fun for a weekend, I don't think people are going to be lining up to renounce their U.S. citizenship for an opportunity to live in the 1800's.

- What's the national defense plan? How is Lakota Country going to protect it's land? To be honest, I don't know where Lakota Country is beyond the fact it has areas in North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Montana, and Wyoming. Those states don't seem like prime real estate to me, but the U.S. has never really been to keen on giving up land.

I could go on for quite some time. But the point is this - the State Department and U.S. government are probably treating this like a parent treats a 6-year old who decides he's going to run off and join the circus. I'm sure the Lakotas have a legitimate gripe with the U.S., but declaring yourselves independent without really having a plan in place for things like defense, international travel, and other vital aspects of a country isn't the best way to address your grievances.

The Floyd Landis Award

Continuing our tradition of showcasing our great comments...Daddo deserves the Floyd Landis Award for his comment on TIME's Person Of The Year. Besides confusing who wrote the post, the comment is very good.

Good comments II - in keeping with William's lists, here are my Top 5 Person's of the Year

5. George Bush - look how he has turned the Democrats mid-term "mandate" of 2006 into a March of the Wimps and Fools of 2007. Harry & Nancy are a joke!

4. Condi Rice - the most powerful, intelligent woman in the world

3. Al Gore - your reasons

2. General Petraeus - your reasons

1. Nicolas Sarkozy - a French leader we can all be proud of.. He loves America, Americans, dates a super model and tells the strikers in France to stuff it and get back to work! A true agent of change in Europe after 50 years of socialistic ruin.

TIME's Person Of The Year

TIME Magazine has once again told us who the most important person of the year is. TIME decided that Russian dictator President Vladimir Putin is the most influential/important/biggest change maker in the world. I would like to be the first of many to say “thanks” to TIME for making sure that another dictator in the making is crowned with such a distinction.

I have trouble with Putin being picked as TIME’s Person of the Year. Not because I feel that he is a dictator in training but because I don’t understand what he has done this year to deserve the title. If you look at the short list of runner-ups you see General David Petraeus, J.K. Rowling and Al Gore. We could easily take J.K. Rowling off that list…what did she do except write some books. Come on. But I truly could make an argument for General Petraeus and Al Gore. Both men have drastically changed the discourse in this country and the world. The General has turned Iraq around into something that Democrats don’t want to talk about during the election because they fear that it is too positive now and would help Republicans. Al Gore has won just about every award this country and world has to give. He has made it cool to jump on the Global Warming bandwagon. Both men have changed the world this year. Both men I feel are more deserving than Vladdy.

TIME states that they bestowed the distinction on Putin because he renewed the faith in Mother Russia for his people and was a stabilizer. All it takes to get your mugshot on the cover of TIME in late December is to stabilize your country. Saddam stabilized Iraq...it doesn't make him a good leader or even an influential leader. Castro stabilizes Cuba. Kim Jung Ill stabilizes North Korea. The list of dictators goes on. That is a weak argument for TIME to make for naming him Person of The Year.

After hearing about Vladdy winning this distinction (TIME made it very clear that this is not an honor or an endorsement) I really tried hard to think about what he did this year to deserve it. Lets put his accomplishments in bullet points:

• Circumvented the Russian Constitution


• Shut down Russian opposition TV stations and newspapers


• Jailed opposition leaders and politicians because he feared they would interfere with the government (that is what the opposition is supposed to do)


• Sent the first of many nuclear shipments to his buddy Ahmadinejad


• Didn’t die (that’s a big one)

I guess the point that I am trying to make is that everything that Putin has done (except the nuke shipment) has affected only Russia. If Russia were giving this distinction out I can understand him winning. However I think the purpose of the distinction is for those that change the WORLD not just their respective country. Therefore Al “Chicken Little” Gore or General David Petraeus would have been much better choices. Even though I think Al Gore is full of himself and so is his crusade…he has done more to change the discourse in this world than most anyone else. General Petraeus (along with the entire US Military), besides being an American hero, has spearheaded a change in the Iraq war that is showing considerable gains and helping to put Iraq back on its feet (even though Senator Reid might not think so). When the New York Times and Washington Post are reporting on the front page the success in Iraq you know that some things are changing for the better. The president of communist China should be considered. Not only is he overseeing a growing superpower he is pretty darn good at sending us poisonous toys. The man who I thought would get it was Iran’s president. Why not? He is a pretty interesting dictator that is shaking things up.

However I will leave you with what I think won it for Putin and is summed up in the first sentence of the article,

“No one is born with a stare like Vladimir Putin's.”

So get working on that stare...it just might be your ticket to a face shot on TIME Magazine...but be sure to stabilize something as well.

Irony and Stupidity

So I guess it's official that Britney's 16-year old sister is pregnant. Naturally, there's going to be outrage and shock from the American public. But none of this should really come as a surprise - there's a shocking number of teenage pregnancies every year, and if there's one thing I've learned from the Spears family (never though I would say those words) is that just because you're famous, doesn't mean you're excluded from general stupidity (the main cause of teenage pregnancy; the number two cause is raging teenage hormones, for those of you playing at home).

Anyway, here's an article from July 07 when the pregnancy was first reported by the National Enquirer. And here's a list of things that should cause alarm in you after reading the article:

1. Lynne Spears (the mother of this domestic meltdown) was pissed when she found out about the pregnancy, not because her 16-year old daughter is pregnant, but because Jamie Lynn told Britney first. Might want to re-think those priorities Lynne.

2. In another shocking display of her lack of judgement, Lynne and ex-husband Jamie consulted with none other than Kevin Federline for advice on what to do if Jame is pregnant. Is there no one else this woman knows who could offer better advice? A delusional schizo could probably provide better advice than the man who unleashed "Po-po-Zao" on the world.

3. Jamie sought contraception advice from Britney. Amazingly, Britney managed to give decent advice and told Jamie to go on the pill. Jamie refused, stating that the pill would make her fat..... Do I really need to state the obvious comment here?

4. A 16-year old is living with her 19-year old boyfriend. What the F is this? Why would any parent let her kid do this?

Like I said, it shouldn't be a surprise that a 16-year old is pregnant, let alone that the soon-to-be mother is related to Britney Spears. I would say hope that Jamie Lynn turns out the be a better parent than Britney, but it's obvious that Jamie doesn't learn from other people's mistakes too well.

Oh well, I'm going to grab a beer, sit back and watch the train wreck. Should be interesting.

The Gift For the Person Who Has Everything

There are 5 and a half more days of shopping until Christmas (6 and a half for all you Canadian losers that celebrate Boxing Day). I'm sure some of the D&F readership still has some last minute shopping to do, and you're having trouble thinking of a good gift for that one person. Maybe they have everything; maybe they're just really picky about things, and you don't want to get the awkward, "Ohh, that's....nice," on X-mas morning. Well, have I got the solution for you.

Gift cards. No, not the ubiquitous restaurant / electronic store / fast food gift cards that you can buy anywhere and everywhere. I'm talking about health care gift cards. That's right - health care has become a commodity to be given to your friends and family on holidays, birthdays, and any other special occasion. According to the article, which can be read here, the cards can be used for anything from deductible to major surgery payments.

I'm shooting from the hip here, but I think health care gift cards are about the same as giving someone a diet book and a gift card to Jenny Craig for Christmas. You're basically saying - "Look, I know how unhealthy you are, so instead of giving you something cool for [insert occasion here], I'm giving you a trip to the doctor. Hope the card covers whatever procedure you will be having in the near future!"

On the other hand, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who could use some help with their medical bills. So I guess if you want to give someone good health, then this is the present for them.

Either way, have a great Christmas.

P.S. - No, I am not taking the rest of the holidays off. I will continue posting - just wanted to get a happy holidays wish in there.

The Christmas Spirit Is Alive and Well in Rio de Janeiro

From Foxnews.com:

A chopper carrying Santa Claus was shot down over the Nova Mare slum in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, on Sunday, according to a Reuters report. It was en route to a children's party when it was fired on from below.

Um, where do I start on this one? If I didn't see it with my own eyes, I would of thought it was a headline from The Onion. The absolute best part of this story is when you read it, Fox News makes absolutely no effort to distinguish whether or not the people shooting at the helicopter knew Santa was in it. I couldn't help but think of the trailer for the IBC classic The Night The Reindeer Died.

I See A Parent of the Year Nomination in Her Future

If this turns out to be true...wow. While I read celebrity rags when I am at the doctors office or if they are at Sean and Christie’s house, I am not a big fan of blogging about them…there are many more important topics like urinal etiquette. However this is ridiculous. OK! Magazine and TMZ (both highly reputable sources) are reporting that Jamie Lynn Spears (yeah…Britney’s 16 year old sister) is pregnant.

She is reported as to saying that she wants to keep the baby (which is a positive...maybe she could put it up for adoption) and be an incredible mom like her older sister (I added that last part). Not only did she get knocked up while being only 16 but she was living with her boyfriend of a year. So…lets do the math. She started “dating” this guy when she was 15. Moved in together within the last year. I wonder how that conversation went? Maybe something like this:

Spears: I really like the Pink Power Ranger
Idiot Boyfriend: Ummm…yeah. I just got the new Razor Scooter.
Spears: That is awesome…wanna move in with me?
Idiot Boyfriend: Ummm…sure.

Where are the parents? I know that mamma Spears is not all there…but what about the boyfriends’ parents? Could it be that they are as stupid and trashy as the Spears’ Family? I pray that this kid somehow is able to rise above what it will be born into and actually make something of itself. It is sad when we feel sorry for the kid of a millionaire celebrity even before they are born. Says a lot for the Spears Family. I am pretty sure that we could go ahead and nominate the entire Spears family as Idiots of the Year.

---Update

Her boyfriend is 19 years old. Pretty sure that this breaks some type of law. The future father's name is Casey Aldridge. I guess his parents are not that important to the story but Jamie's should still be relevant in her life. This is just sad.

Blue-Tooth Headsets No Longer #1 Way to Identify a Tool

From Breitbart.com:

A Japanese company Tuesday unveiled a new device that will allow people "speak" through their ear so they can use their mobile telephones in noisy places.

(Yes, that is the actual device pictured)

Apparently, this Japanese company felt that the people who walk around with a Bluetooth headset all the time do not look goofy enough. This new device enables a cell phone user to speak via his ear. The gadget picks up vibrations from the ear when you speak.

It's a cool idea, but why does the dude have a hard hat on? Is that required when you purchase the ear-mic? Anyway, I still have not gotten used to people with Bluetooth that walk around talking on the phone. 96% of the time I think they're either talking to themselves or have me confused with someone that they know. So this will only make that worse.

Dear WVU: Don't Hire Terry Bowden

The other day, Michigan hired Rich Rodriguez as their new head coach. I'll assume the readership of D&F knows the back story there, so I won't waste time with the details. Except for this one - on his way to the airport, Rich encountered several irate WVU fans who felt betrayed that he was leaving the Mountaineers for the big leagues. Yes, that's right. The Big East is a farm league compared to the Big 10 / Big 12 / SEC. I think the performance of USF, Louisville, and Rutgers confirmed that the Big East is not ready for the same respect level that the previously mentioned conferences enjoy.

I digress - WVU fans should be thanking Rich for his time and what he was able to do with their program. They also need to realize that when a Michigan (or any other legendary program) comes calling, and you're at a WVU-type school, you get on the first thing smoking to that next opportunity.

Shortly after Rich's departure, Terry Bowden announced he would like to take the job, stating something like it's his dream job, or something. I did not know this, but Terry was a running back for WVU back in the day (1977-1978). Coincidentally, Bobby Bowden coach at WVU just before beginning his tenure at FSU. I'm sure Bobby had absolutely nothing to do with Terry getting the RB spot - more on this later.

WVU does not need to hire Terry Bowden. I know there's some people at that school that are impressed with his last name, but trust me - I know from experience that Terry does not even begin to fill Dad's shoes. Actually, Bobby hasn't done too hot these past couple years (perhaps he's more interested in Oakley and Burger King commercials).

While at Auburn, Terry was an absolutely horrible coach. He made horrible decisions, and his recruiting was atrocious. Yes, I know he had an undefeated season, but that was with Pat Dye's players. After Pat's recruits were out of the picture, Terry was barely over 50% with wins. And then there's the circumstances surrounding his departure from Auburn - no specific details are readily available, but the rumors involved a trustee's daughter or student assistant, or something along those lines. Use your imagination.

Bobby Bowden has done great things throughout his career. His sons, however, are not doing so hot. There's ramblings at Clemson about Tommy getting the boot; Terry's been stuck in commentator land since resigning from Auburn, and Jeff worked for his Dad up until last year when he resigned after FSU was shut-out by Wake Forrest. I'm not sure what he's doing now.

So, WVU - I know the idea of having a Bowden at the helm of your football program may seem pretty cool. And he's even an alum, which makes for good PR, but you will be much better off finding a D-2 or FCS (new name for D-1AA) coach that's looking for a move to a good program in D-1.

P.S. - Terry's also really, really short. I'm talking ompa-loompa short. You don't want a head coach that looks like the kid who's supposed to go get the kicking tee after kick-off. That's just confusing to everyone.

Ron Paul Yard Signs

On my way down to Birmingham yesterday I saw something that I have ever seen before. A sight so rare that it has never been filmed. I saw an actual professionally made yard sign for Ron Paul. I know...that warrants a stop on the side of the highway to take a picture. Well I am not insane...otherwise I would have stopped (and probably would be supporting Ron Paul as well).

Also yesterday Bobby saw a traditional Ron Paul advertising...a spray painted bed sheet. This leads me to issue this PSA (read it like William Shatner would):

This holiday season...with people going on vacation, spending time at parties and not being at home please remember to lock up your bed sheets. This might seem strange and over the top, but there have been a rash of sheet thefts that are rocking communities. The sad part...over 98% of sheets never make it home. They are vandalized with spray painted catch phrases like, "Google Ron Paul"..."rEVOLution"..."Ron Paul 2008". To ensure your holiday season is a joyful one...please remember the bedsheets. The More You Know.

Gone most of the day

Hello fellow D&F'ers...I will probably not be able to post much during the day because I will be busy and the dealership I am at does not have wireless Internet for me to hook up my laptop. So, I will post when I get back to the hotel. Hopefully Bobby and Sean will post a few things in my absence.

Good day!!

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for December 18, 2007

In wacky Islam news:
Islam is now making words up..."re-virginize".

In Iran getting nuke technology news:
From Russia with love.

In French presidents dating hot models news:
Sarkozy is really starting to impress me.

In Global Warming news:
An agreement to agree to talk again in 2009...and who says that UN doesn’t accomplish anything?

In space news:
Black Holes fighting each other in space. Well it seems clear who is at fault here...global warming and George Bush.

In Canuck news:
$83,000 phone bill. That is crazy...but why does the headline have to point out he is lonely? That is kinda adding salt to the wound.

Pork

Have you ever wondered how much "pork" your representatives bring home? Well this website is for you. If you are in the dark about what “pork” is, then I will try to shed some light on it. Pork is another name for “earmarks” or money that your representative puts in legislation that will then be spent in your hometown. Some recent pork that you might have heard of is this bridge to nowhere. Or maybe the Woodstock Museum.

So how much money are our politicians wasting taking home. Well let’s take some sample districts.

Nancy Pelosi (D)—For fiscal year 2006 Ms. Pelosi decided that she needed to spend $709,251,842. That is .2% of pork spent for 2006.

John Boehner (R)—For fiscal year 2006 Mr. Boehner (Republican leader in the house) took home $546,282,014. That ranks 51st as most pork in the country.

Jim Cooper (D Congressman for Nashville)—Jim brought Nashville $202,042,568. That ranks 138 on the list.

If there is one thing that makes me a strong conservative it is fiscal responsibility. Seeing these numbers is outrageous. I understand that some money needs to go back to districts for infrastructure and other important things…but the fact that a politician is able to take home hundreds of millions of dollars…our dollars…is unacceptable. As long as we allow it…it will continue to happen.

Saudi King: Not Completely Retarded

From Foxnews.com:

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia — Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah has pardoned a female rape victim who had been sentenced to 200 lashes for being alone with a man at the time of the attack who was not related to her, a Saudi newspaper reported Monday.

In an effort to be fair to the religion of peace (Islam), I try to report good news along with the bad (most recently, the father in Canada who killed his daughter for not wearing appropriate Islamic clothing). Thus, today, I bring you a good story about Islam.

The Saudi King saw fit to pardon a woman. She was guilty of being alone with a man who is not related to her. I don't remember if the rapists was convicted of anything (and too lazy to do the search right now), but I'm sure that the woman's insolence was the primary cause for the rape, and not the obvious mental problems of the rapists.

So the Saudi King seems to have a semi-working brain - or at least he realizes how barbaric and a**-backwards it is to charge and then convict the victim of a rape for being alone with a man. However, the legal system seems to need some tweaking. One, why is a law like this still on the books? And two, why did the jury (or whatever system they use) feel compelled to use it? Do they still try to chop off thieves hands? I remember seeing that in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

But before I start on a rant (this is a good news story after all), I will leave it at - Good job, Saudi King. Let's hope I can do more good Islam stories.

P.S. - William briefly mentioned this a few days ago in TSTWBTA. Give credit where credit is due.

Top 5 Christmas Movies

While driving home today from Athens, GA I realized that I have not opened up the Christmas movie vault this season. So to kick things off, I am listing my top 5 Christmas movies. Feel free to criticise...or come up with your own list.

Top 5 Christmas Movies:

5) A Christmas Story (would have been higher but they over play it on TBS)

4) Miracle on 34th Street (either version...just a feel good Christmas movie)

3) Home Alone 2 Scrooged (Thanks to Sean for the reminder)

2) Home Alone 1 (no explanation needed)

1) National Lampoons Christmas Vacation (Classic with a capital C)



Honorable Mention:

Love Actually
Elf
Its A Wonderful Life
Jack Frost
Home Alone 2

Returning Heroes Home

I am always in awe of what our incredible military men and women do day in and day out. We ask so much of them and in return give so little. They are asked to go fight and win wars, keep peace and risk their lives doing it. Often without the unwavering support they deserve. I came across this website that is raising money for a center for soldiers that are returning home injured. It is a lot like the Ronald McDonald house for sick kids and their families. The Returning Heroes Home center will enable families of wounded soldiers to spend time with them while they are recovering.

I know that the war elicits strong opinoins, but one that binds us as Americans is the support for our Armed Forces. Republican, Democrat, radical right or looney left, it doesnt matter, we have to stand behind our troops. During this time of Christmas, it is more important than ever to remember these brave Americans. Take a look at the website and if you have an extra couple bucks and feel compelled, give it to Returning Heroes Home.

The Mitchell Report

The much hyped Mitchell Report was released yesterday and everyone has had some time to chew on it. My first thought was that Roger Clemens was a pretty, pretty, pretty big name. However, to give credit where it is due, Sean has been saying Roger’s name for some time. Kudos to Sean. The first question has to be about the Hall of Fame. This is where I think it will get heated in the years to come since most of the big names on the list have not retired (they won’t be eligible until 5 years after they retire).

Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte (possibly) and Mark McGuire were all names that at one point were a lock as first ballot Hall of Famers. Mark McGuire then had his infamous Congressional hearing where he mysteriously forgot anything and everything that led up to him smashing the single season homerun record. He said to the panel,

“I'm not here to talk about the past. I'm here to be positive about this subject.”

His name will forever be linked to steroids and he is currently paying the price. When his name came up for voting in 2006 he only received 23.5% of the vote (just missed the 75% threshold to be inducted into the Hall).

Mark’s future is pretty secure…he will not be in the Hall of Fame anytime soon. However, how about the other guys? The guys that were named on this list or are linked to steroids. Should everyone be “mcguired” (oh yeah…I just made up that verb; its catchy)? Should voters overlook the steroid use since it was so predominant? Should we elect anyone from this era? I have an opinion (believe it or not) but I could be swayed to think something different.

I think there should be punishment for these players. I know that steroids were not banned in baseball until 2002 but they were illegal (anabolic steroids) in America for sometime. That these players may have broke the law to gain an unfair advantage is a disgrace. A disgrace to the game, a disgrace to the fans and a disgrace to the kids that look up to these players. If baseball were to enshrine them into the Hall of Fame for being frauds then the Hall of Fame looses credibility and its looses the prestige that it once had.

People will make the argument that steroids can’t help you hit a baseball. B1 always says, “Hitting a round ball with a round bat squarely is the hardest thing to do in sports.” I agree and it takes a crap load of athleticism to accomplish this. However steroids will enable you to hit 73 homers in a single season when before that you had never hit 50 (Barry Bonds). I heard someone yesterday say that steroids cant help you locate a pitch but it will help you pitch 100 mph when you are collecting Social Security (Roger Clemens). It is possible that Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens were Hall of Fame players before the steroids but we will never know. We won’t know what their numbers would have been because they did not give us the opportunity to know. They robbed us of that opportunity.

If Pete Rose and Shoeless Joe will never be in the Hall of Fame then Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds and anyone else who took steroids should not even be sold a ticket. The Hall of Fame is for players like Cal Ripken, Tony Gwynn and Sid Bream (ok…maybe not Sid, but he is awesome).

Hopefully this will start to close an ugly chapter in baseball. I think Bug Selig needs to step down since this happened on his watch and pretty sure that this would not have been as pervasive if the union was not as powerful as it is. Maybe we can get some changes now.

Hotel Drinking Glasses

MikeyMc50 sent us a little hidden camera video from an Atlanta news station. I had heard about this but had not seen the video yet. It reminds me of the hidden camera exposes they always do on the sheets and comforter of the beds except they are doing it on the drinking glasses.

As someone who basically lives in hotels during the week this kinda grosses me out. I really don't ever use the drinking glasses, but it does make me think what else are they doing while cleaning my room. It is like that Seinfeld episode when Jerry's girlfriend puts something in the toilet and doesn't tell Jerry what it is (uhhhhhhh, the toilet brush) and by the end of the episode his apartment is empty.

At about the 3 minute mark is when it starts to get really disturbing. Will not be staying at those hotels when I make it back to Atlanta.

The Sawyer Report

Out today is the Mitchell report, which I am sure we will have more on later. If you have been living under a rock or don't really like sports, The Mitchell Report is former Senator George Mitchell's attempt to blow the doors open on steroid use in baseball. As of this writing, the names that have leaked are Roger Clemens (Sean has been saying that name for some time), Andy Pettitte and Miguel Tejada. Those are some pretty big name ball players.

But onto the bigger news story. Dink and Flika has officially asked me to report on all the alias' on D&F commentators and report back on who they are. This report will surely blow the lid on D&F and might even change the rotation of Earth. If you have any tips or know of who these mysterious commentators are please leave an anonymous comment (however we will name you as well in the report). We have a good idea of a few of the names, but we need to dig a little and get to the bottom of this catastrophe. The only legitimate commentator that we know of at this point is Doogie Howser...thank you Mr. Howser for your courageous act of putting your name to your post.

The report is due Monday December 17, 2007. Call the law.

Click This Link, If You're Feeling Lucky

Google Chuck Norris

NBC's Goal: Ruin My Childhood Memories

While checking out the days headlines this morning, I came across this little gem of a headline: "DETAILS: New 'KNIGHT RIDER' Driver a 'Jaded' Iraq War Vet..."

Full story here: http://www.tvweek.com/blogs/james-hibberd/2007/12/knight_rider_premiere_set_arne.php

This, of course, caused a roller coaster of emotion in a very short time. Elation that Knight Rider is making a come back; confusion as to why a 'jaded' vet is in the story line; and, then, after going to the link and reading the story, complete and utter fury that the new KITT (that's the car for you non-Knight Rider watching degenerates) is a Ford Mustang. Again, for the degenerates, the original KITT was a Pontiac Trans Am - not too different from Dwight's spectacular 80's mobile.

One could make the argument that since the Trans-Am is no longer in production, a Mustang is a suitable replacement. I call shenanigans on that. Transformers was able to get a concept Camaro, and as any self-respecting American knows, the Trans-Am and Camaro are essentially the same car with a couple different plastic pieces on the front end. NBC needs to pony up and get a concept Trans-Am. Hell, they could even work it into a storyline on The Office (when the strike ends) - maybe Dwight wins a contest for a new car. The possibilities are endless.

Next, what's up with this whole 'jaded' Iraq vet thing? Is that really necessary? In the original, Michael Knight is a man with a shady past. Why couldn't we keep that theme going? Maybe the new driver could be a recovering alcoholic NASCAR driver. That would work - he got kicked of NASCAR for liking the sauce, spent a few years selling hot dogs at a dirt track in BFE, and now is looking to redeem himself by fighting crime in a state of the art TRANS-AM (not Mustang).

Pretty much the only thing this new Knight Rider has going for it is the voice of KITT is slated to be Will Arnett (Gob from Arrested Development). That should be entertaining. Oh yeah, and the Hoff will be making a cameo. Let's hope he's not singing.

So, NBC, if you don't mind, please revamp your upcoming two-hour television event and make it less offensive to the true Knight Rider fans out there. Let's not turn this into another Bionic Woman.

ScroogeYourself

Christie has a little too much time on her hands. Once again she took advantage of my horrible picture taking ability and used it to humiliate me. If I wasn't so sure of myself, this might actually hurt. Good thing I am overly confident.

For the record, I was blessed with one heck of a nose, but it is not that big. Thanks Grandma Ann for that one. Anyway, enjoy the dancing Scrooge. I cant wait till the next OfficeMax.com dancing picture thing so Christie can take advantage of me again.

Merry Christmas!!!

A Little Hump Day Humor

So a couple weeks ago, D&F posted the Lightning Bolt video (See the post "Why 'Bandrew' Hasn't Been Calling") For those of you not familiar with what is going on in this video, it's called Live Action Role Playing, or LARPing, if you're in the know. I am not in the know, nor do I associate with these awesome people. I simply did a little research on Google. Anyway, some genius put together a greatest clips video with some good ol' rock n' roll. Please to enjoy (the best part is at 1:03).

The Pope Has Spoken

Pope Benedict the XVI (AKA Eggs) has ventured into the debate on global warming. And to say the least, Chicken Little (Al Gore) is not too happy. While The Pope says that there might be some truth to the claim of human induced global warming...the mass hysteria is not necessary.

He feels that any solution to the "problem" must be based on:

"firm evidence and not on dubious ideology."

Ohhhhh snap. The Holy Father will not be inviting Al to The Vatican to screen An Inconvenient Truth anytime soon. He goes on to say:

"that while some concerns may be valid it was vital that the international community based its policies on science rather than the dogma of the environmentalist movement."

However I feel that my favorite quote from Pope Benedict was:

"the world needed to care for the environment but not to the point where the welfare of animals and plants was given a greater priority than that of mankind."

This message will be delivered January 1 at World Peace Day but he felt it necessary to leak a copy while world leaders are meeting in Bali discussing global warming.

I feel that it is about time that a world leader says this. The Czech president has been saying this for a while, but he is not the leader of a billion people. The Pope is one of the few people in the world that when he says something...it actually means something. This might actually start us down a path of more civilized discussion on the topic. Hopefully, gone are the days when non-global warming nuts are associated to Holocaust deniers.

The Pope 1...Al Gore 0.

Another PR Touchdown for Islam

From Breitbart.com:

Friends and classmates of a 16-year-old girl who police say was murdered by her devout Muslim father in a Toronto suburb told local media Tuesday she was killed for not wearing a hijab.

Listen, Muhammad Parvez (father of murdered daughter and prime suspect), if you want to treat women as possessions and keep them at the same social step (or lower) as dogs, then move your goofy a** back to Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia, or whatever crap hole country from which you hail. It is absolutely retarded to move to a Western country and expect everyone in your family to act like it's the 12th century.

I suspect you moved to Canada because the economic opportunities were somewhat better than goat farmer or camel herder. Guess what? The western world has been able to develop the economic powerhouse that you enjoy because we moved past the totalitarian and dogmatic mindset of the dark ages. Oh yeah, and we stopped killing women because they didn't do exactly what we told them to.

So next time your getting mad at one of your daughters (if there's any left), take a minute and try to pull your head out of the nether regions and realize that Canada is, in fact, not Mecca circa 1278.

Have fun in prison.

I No Huckabee

Republican front runner Mike Huckabee has been a Cinderella story out of nowhere. Fed up with what they see as a lack of choice, the Christian Right has saddled up Huck and are riding him to victory. Or so they think. Drudge had a story yesterday that claimed Huckabee is the Republican's Howard Dean.

Howard Dean was so fanatical that Republicans were praying he would win so we could have an easy general election. Democrats see Huck as a "glass jaw" and are ready to break him. They think he has so much baggage that he will easily be defeated in November. I agree with them and this story adds to that belief.

Huckabee, in an article that is to be published this Sunday, actually ask:

"Don't Mormons believe that Jesus and the devil are brothers?"

This is also the man who refused to answer the question, "Is Mormonism a cult"? Now, there are plenty of things that I do not agree with in the Mormon doctrine, but by no means would I consider them a cult.

Someone who claims to be a minister is very ignorant of other religions. I am not Jewish but I know the basic tenants of their religion. I am not Muslim, but I would hope that I was able to have an intelligent conversation based on fact and not some crazy Internet rumor.

Governor Mitt Romeny said it correctly last week:

"A person should not be elected because of his faith nor should he be rejected because of his faith."

Huckabee is trying to scare conservative religious voters into thinking Mitt Romeny is some crazy mo-fo who has 10 wives. Huckabee should retract this article ASAP and read a few articles on the Mormon faith. Why is it fair that Mitt has to defend his religion on a daily basis and Huck gets a free pass? Sure, Huck belongs to a more mainstream denomination, but if religion is going to be fair game...lets open up Hucks past.

So far here is the Mike Huckabee list:
--AIDS patients should be quarantined
--He was giddy when it came to tax increases
--Pardoned a convicted rapist who then went on to kill 2 people
--Believes Mormonism is a cult Refused to answer if Mormonism is a cult and thinks Mormons believe Jesus and the devil are brothers. (edited after being corrected by a reader)

It is safe to say that I will not be supporting Huck for President. If he is going to sink to attacking people's religion, how does he have any chance when it comes to the general election. If elected President, is he going to refuse to meet with the Dalai Lama because he isnt a Southern Baptist? Will he reject the Pope's invitation to The Vatican? I think religion is an important part of someones moral makeup. Mitt Romney believes in God and Jesus. That should be the end of the discussion...but leave it up to the media to fan the flames.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for December 12, 2007:

In how to "loose" 4 wives news:
Drew Peterson has lost 4 wives...help him out with a few dollars.

In gift cards news:
A little helpful hint on gift cards this Christmas season.

In word of the year news:
"w00t" is the word of the year...even though it is not a real word (it is spelled with two zeros).

In football news:
I just went 3-10 with the Atlanta Falcons...I'm going to Fayetteville, Arkansas.

In blame President Bush for all of societies problems news:
President Bush is now to blame for the increase in teenage pregnancies.

Final Countdown - Cello Version

For those familiar with the under-appreciated show Arrested Development you will notice this song right away. For those of you not familiar with the show I suggest you go out and rent the series, you will not be dissapointed.

One of the main charachters, Gob Bluth, is an illusionist, not a magician, an illusionist. As Gob puts it, "It's an illusion, tricks are what whores do!" Well said Gob. Whenever he is performing his illusions he plays the Final Countdown in the background. This video shows three college kids getting down on their cellos. Enjoy.

video found via college humor

Second Dink and Flika Poll Opened

The second "official" Dink and Flika poll is open. For all the people who are kicking themselves for not voting in our first poll can now redeem themselves and place their votes for the new poll question.

Simply look to the right of the screen under Poll Question and place your vote. Please send this on to other people to vote, we would love to get more than 20 votes this time.

For the fans of chain e-mails, if you send this to 10 people in the next 10 minutes you will get 10 years of good luck if you don't you will have halitosis for the rest of your life.

First Dink and Flika Poll Closed

The "official" first poll of Dink and Flika is now closed. Tell all of your friends who did not place their vote that they have no right to complain, because they did not let their voice be heard. To refresh your memory the poll question was, Who is more attractive overall, Rosie O'Donnell, Hillary Clinton, or Death? A non-partisan question if I have ever seen one, but I digress, on to the results.

Death - Death walked away with the victory receiving 75% of the votes. I don't know what to say either we have a lot of morbid/freaky readers who find this guy somewhat attractive or he wasn't up against much competition. I guess the creator of this poll knew his audience, and knew what they would like.

Hillary Clinton - Hillary came in second place, she may have to get used to that, and walked away with 15% of the votes. But if you ask me I think a couple of those votes were pity votes because no one had chosen her.

Rosie O'Donnell - Rosie brings up the rear, and what a big rear it is, (thank you, I'll be hear all week, be sure to tip your waitresses.) Rosie received 10% of the vote, and all I can say is who in God's name voted for Rosie? You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Thanks again for all who voted, and be sure to check back in soon for our next poll question.

Secret to Winning a NASCAR Race

I don't know how many of our readers are fans of NASCAR, for all I know some of our readers may work for NASCAR, or at least a Track that NASCAR might use. Regardless, I have never been a big fan of the sport. I can tune in, especially if it is the last 10 laps of a race, but I quickly get tired of watching cars race each other. I know the argument, like hockey, all you have to do is go to one race and you will be hooked for life, but I don't think that is the case.

Below is a video from The Onion (a reputable news organization) reporting on the secret of winning any car race, NASCAR in particular. It is a pretty interesting theory and the best part is when we get to go inside the car and listen to the driver speak to his spotter, (it is about the 2:00 minute mark of the video.)

Note: This video has been out for awhile, so I apologize to Lance if he has already seen it, no snide comments necessary.

NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: 'Drive Fast'

TIVO Who?

It wasn't that long ago when one of the very popular authors of this blog gave his TIVO to an out of work, struggling graduate student sibling of his because his TIVO could not record more than one television show at a time. TIVO has since fixed that problem with their newer models, and cable company DVRs have been able to do it since they began offering the service.

I guess recording two shows at once is not acceptable. What happens when you want to watch Top Chef, and record The Office, 24, Lost, I Love New York, Seinfeld, Family Guy, Man vs. Wild, UnWrapped, American Gladiators, and Ninja Warrior? The answer, you purchase the Snap Stream Television Search Appliance. The machine, pictured above, allows you to record a whopping 10 channels at a time and can hold over 2,300 hours of television. For a measly $15,000 this wonderful creation can be yours. Now you will never have to ask yourself the question should I tape Highschool Musical 2, Battlestar Galatica, or Ken Burns: The War?

Story found via Lost Remote

Another List That Means Nothing

While walking around the Denver airport this weekend (which is a great airport) I stumbled across this doozy of a list. Details Magazine had their list of most powerful people under the age of 45. We are getting to the end of the year and magazines are running out of things to write so what does any decent editor do...they come up with a stupid list. You might think that I am a little harsh on the editors of Detail Magazine...just wait till you see who their most powerful people under 45 are. When I think of powerful people I think of people who change the world (good or bad), have a impact on humanity and overall exerts some power. For the most part...Details disagrees.

Lets go through some of the people Details thinks are powerful:

#49 Kelly Slater--he surfs for a profession. The reason he is on the list...because he is the rebound for hot chicks (Cameron Diaz, Pam Anderson and Bar Refaeli)

#42 Andrew Speaker--he was the dude with TB. Not sure how that makes him powerful...he was locked up in a Denver hospital for 10 weeks.

#41 Harry Potter--he's not even real.

#35 "The Vocal Vets"--those vets that are against the war. While I can see their spot on the list...where are the vets that quietly go about their lives when they come home. The vets that do hero's work and don't ask for anything in return. Details didn't feel that they were powerful enough to be put on the list. There is more on this later in the list.

#29 Iggy--the dog Ellen gave away. ARE YOU SERIOUS. You cant put military heroes on your list but you can put a dog.

#7 Kevin Federline and Larry Birkhead--WHAT?? What did they do except impregnate trashy rich women. Details...any credibility you had is now gone.

#2 "The Surge"--Here is the first line of their description, "What do you call 20,000 soldiers sent off to fight a war that’s long since been lost? In George W. Bush’s politics of denial, they get a clever name: The Surge." Wow...I don't know what to say.

#1 Zac Efron and Shia LeBoeuf--Disney kids. All they do is act...how does this make them powerful?

So what have we learned from Details Magazine...they really have no clue about what they are talking about. It was like they did a Google search and picked some names, mixed that with the Democrat talking points...and BAM got them a list.

Don't worry though, this is only the start of list season. We had Barbara Walters list now this and pretty soon we will have plenty more. Don't forget that we still have Times' Person of the Year to look forward to. How much do you want to bet it will be Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?

Falcons Players Are Friggin' Dumb

Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in a federal prison yesterday. Fortunately, there is no chance for parole in the federal system, but he can get time off for good behavior. So assuming he behaves himself while in 'da clink, Michael can be released as early as the summer of 2010 - just in time for the NFL pre-season.

Some of you may think that due to the heinous nature of his crime, Vick will never play in the NFL again. Well, time heals all wounds, and when you're famous and can pull in millions of dollars for a sports franchise, you can pretty much do whatever you want and still expect to earn the league minimum. Look at these dumba** Falcon players during last night's game against New Orleans:

Awesome. You know - it may just be a cultural thing. Anyway, obviously, the sentiment that Vick's punishment was too harsh is already out there, and it's only going to get stronger. I wouldn't be surprised if he's signed before release in the off-season leading up to 2010.

And let's not forget about Ricky Williams. Recently, Miami (the Yang to the Patriots seemingly unstoppable drive to be undefeated) re-activated Williams after he was suspended for smoking the reefer - for the 4th time. Yes, I know smoking marijuana is not as bad as organizing and running a dog-fighting ring, but the fact that Williams was allowed back into the NFL 4 different times despite the painfully obvious fact that he has no intention of giving up the ganja shows that if a team is in a bad enough spot (0-13, for example), the management will be willing to forgive all past transgressions.

In the perfect world, Williams, Vick, and any other professional athlete who fails to conduct themselves in accordance with the role model status that comes with the position would be banned from professional sports for life. But that's just unrealistic. The most we can hope for is that the complete repulsion that America felt when Vick's crimes were discovered will be remembered in the summer of 2010, and he will end up as a bouncer at some Atlanta night club.