Nashville is bracing for probably the biggest snow accumulation that has ever been recorded. Or at least that is what you would think with the way people are driving and going to the grocery store to stock up on the essential milk and bread before the big whiteout. I went to weather.com today and saw that God was going to drop a few of the white flakes tonight. Coming from a state (Ohio) that regularly gets snow this time of year I really wasn’t that fazed. Let’s keep in mind that there is going to be zero inches of accumulation. I just went to Kroger to get some toothpaste (contrary to popular belief, I do in fact brush my teeth) and there was a huge run on milk and bread.
Why, when people hear that it will snow, do they go out and stock up on these two items. Are these the only items that will sustain them if snow falls? It is like when the Pharaohs went around Egypt killing all the young boys…the red X on the door meant that that house had been searched. Do the snow gods look for the red X to signify that milk and bread have been purchased and that house can be spared? Very few things can make people in the south panic more than the threat of snow (another being the threat that Dale Earnhardt Jr. might retire from NASCAR). It doesn’t even have to snow…just forecast it and schools and business will shut its doors and probably let out early so people can stock up, so they can survive the 4 hours the next morning that they might (and I stress might) have to wait for the white stuff to thaw.
Also, when snow is forecast…does that immediately affect the way you drive? It’s like a forecast of snow puts everyone on high alert and then they instantly turn into old people who just got their license renewed and are enjoying a Sunday drive except it is Tuesday. Don’t get me wrong, I love Nashville and the people here are great. It’s just an epidemic of people in the South that they are unable to operate when the threat of snow approaches. The Islamic terrorist could really do some damage if they could get a hold of George W. Bush’s racist weather machine and just threaten the South with snow everyday…that would cripple us.
So, to people living in the South and specifically those living in Nashville: I have faith that you will be able to operate your car normally and if you do need to stock up on survival items…go with the steak, Chips Ahoy Soft Batch Cookies and Mayfield Birthday Cake Ice Cream. Your family will thank you.
