ESPN is Trying to Kill Me

February through August is the most boring part of the year, as far as sports go. There is absolutely no football. While this leaves a void on the weekend for yours truly (all too often filled with stupid chores), it does give my blood pressure a chance to rest. I don't get all worked up about the absolutely retarded polls that lead to even more insanity in the BCS, and I don't have to listen to Lee Corso talk about his 3 days of coaching at Louisville. Hey, Lee, if your coaching advice was any good, you'd still be coaching.

Well, Mark Sclabach can't leave well enough alone. He's decided to go ahead and rank the top teams. And since I too can't leave well enough alone, I'm going to make fun of his stupid picks. Don't worry - I'm not going to go through all 25 teams he ranked. I'll simply target the 4 or 5 most ridiculous.

#1 - The University of Georgia. Good job, Mark. You got this one right. There were many a people who thought the Bulldogs should have played in the National Championships, but I'm not going to complain too much because the Championship stayed in the SEC, THE Ohio State University lost....again, and Hawaii was exposed as a not-so-great team when they have to play against a real defense.

#2 - Oklahoma University. Are you F-ing kidding me? In 2007, the Sooners lost to two unranked teams (Texas Tech and Colorado) before going on to be destroyed by West Virginia in the Fiesta Bowl. They have now lost a good chunk of their experience, but Mark thinks that Sam Bradford is the second coming. Whatever.

#3 - THE Ohio State University. First off, Congress (since they're in the habit of making sure everything is on the up and up in sports) needs to ban the Buckeyes from the National Championship for the next 5 years. It's simply mean to play with OSU fans' emotions like that. They already live in a crappy state. There's no need to keep fooling them into thinking they're going to beat an SEC team. And good ol' Jim Tressel is once again going after football powerhouses like Youngstown State, Ohio University, and Troy State.

#7 - The University of Florida. Ok, they probably deserve a higher ranking than 7, seeing that they have a returning Heisman winner at quarterback. But I don't like Tim Tebow. And I really don't like Urban Meyer. He's a first class jackass. How did that stupid little "calling the time-out right before the snap" work out for you, Urban? It didn't. You lost to Auburn....again. HA!

#16 - Auburn University. Probably a good spot for Auburn. When Auburn ran the table in 2004, we started at #17 (AP) and #18 (Coach's). As infuriating as it is to listen to commentators not give Auburn any respect, it seems to be good for Tommy and the Tigers. And with Brandon Cox not throwing interceptions anymore, Auburn should be much better off.

There's a couple other questionable rankings in there - Missouri, Kansas, Clemson, Texas Tech. Sure these teams did well last year, but we all remember what happened to Louisville, Rutgers and BYU in 2006. They pulled off some upsets, but couldn't seem to keep it up the following season. Oh well. I don't think the real preseason polls come out until April, so maybe a couple months of rest will do my heart good.