Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Of Course You Know, This Means War


I can't figure out if this is an actual random person or someone within the 10's of D&F readers trying to prod me into writing more. Either way, we received the following comment this afternoon:

"So it appears DinkFlika has been silenced by the Liberals - how wonderful!For those needing interesting and intelligent commentary: http://dailykos.com/ "

Two problems with this comment.

1. The number of responses to political posts that could be viewed as "liberal" happens to be the same number of sniper rounds Hillary had to avoid on her 1996 trip to Bosnia. That's 0 for those of you not keeping up with current events. So, to claim that D&F has been silenced by liberals despite the complete lack of commentary from liberals doesn't really follow. Hang on - I completely forgot about the primary means of changing the world for liberals - hope and change. Now it all makes sense. Well played, liberals.

2. I do not frequent Daily KOS for the simple reason I know how to blame other people for my problems and also how to demand that government fix all the woes in my life. I'm guessing that a vast army of liberal minded people update the Daily KOS on a regular basis whereas D&F is doing good if we get one update a day. The reason for this is simple - the majority of Daily KOS contributors are almost certainly unemployed and have the time to complain about how the government is not solving their problems. The other contributors to D&F and I, on the other hand, have actual jobs that require some amount of attention, and we can't sit around figuring out ways to make it easier for radical Islamic terrorists to attack the country. For this, we apologize.

Oh well, here's a sampling of the days headlines that are sure to entertain and maybe even educate:

- According to Christopher Hitchinson, the biggest scandal of Hillary's non-incident during her 96 trip to Bosnia wasn't her flagrant and almost sociopathic lying, it was the fact that hubby Bill decided to sacrifice hundreds of thousands of civilians at the hands of the Serbs for Hillary's failed attempt to socialize health care.

- Alice Walker puts Barack Obama on the same level as Martin Luther King, Jr. and Nelson Mandela. I'll let you figure out if that's an appropriate comparison or not.

- In the latest attempt to provoke God into smiting the human race, the "pregnant man" has released pictures indicating "he" and his wife are / were body builders. In related news, your local forecast calls for swarms of locusts, plagues, and a 80% chance of first-born son killings. Take that umbrella!

- In Waycross, GA, police were able to prevent a class of third graders from violently assaulting their teacher. I would of thought the Children of the Corn would have made it past the 3rd grade by now.

If you're nice, I will post again later tonight. If you're not nice, you'll have to wait until I'm bored at work again, which will be tomorrow morning sometime.