How I Love Thee, How It's Made

Last week, I updated my status on Facebook to: "Bobby is watching How It's Made. What is wrong him?"* You see, I love watching How It's Made. I will most likely never use the vast majority of the products featured on this wonderful program, but that doesn't stop me from turning it on virtually every night to see how those kooky Canadians make stuff.**

In response to my status, faithful D&F-er John B. offered this insight:

So, here's the thing about "How's it Made." It's a very dry show and bores the tears out of all wives....everyone of them. Sends them running for them there hills. That's why its a great show. Oh, and there's just something about knowing exactly how to make foil (just in case you need to make some for yourself out in the wild).

You might need to read that again to really appreciate the universal truthfulness of the statement. Katie absolutely despises "How It's Made." She will be sitting comfortably in our living room, reading a book or whatever it is she does while trying to ignore me. I will be flipping channels and find my beloved HIM***, and Katie will promptly leave the room and start cooking dinner / cleaning / laundry. She hates doing laundry, so she must really hate HIM.

Of course, John B's insight begs the question - why do women hate HIM so much? Using my wife as a model for the entire female population (which is a totally acceptable assumption), I've come to the conclusion that women are hard wired to like all things silly, nonsensical, and idiotic. And conversely, they dislike any television programming that is useful.

For example, Katie LOVES shows like The Hills, The Real World, anything on Bravo!, and pretty much any award show no matter how B-list****. Basically, if it involves vapid retards running around overreacting to otherwise mundane problems, Katie deems it good television. I, on the other hand, believe watching such crap actually makes you dumber. And as I've already said, she hates the educational TV (regardless of the subject matter).

Thanks to John B. for decoding that little piece of the Universe. Since learning of this truth, I have programmed the DVR to keep at least 2 episodes of HIM recorded at all times. This way, I can guarantee myself 45 minutes of Katie-free time whenever I want. Brilliant!

* - Proper Facebook etiquette demands that one always refers to himself / herself in the third person when updating one's status.

** - If you pay close enough attention, you'll notice that some of the products are labeled in French, and very few of the name brands are American. Thus, I deduced that How It's Made features crazy Canucks.

*** - Totally not gay acronym

**** - Naturally, this includes the two weeks of pre show coverage on E! and all the gay men grouping big breasts you can handle.