I Feel Cheated

We are all familiar with the man pictured to the left. He is The Subway Guy Jared. We were all very impressed when he was able to shed 200 pounds by just eating Subway sandwiches. Its the American Dream...kind of...not really, but basically he used to be really fat and now he is kinda in shape with a hot wife.

Unfortunately, the story has taken a disappointing turn. Best Week Ever's Blog is reporting that while Jared was in college he was known as the Fat Kid Who Had A Lot Of Porn And Rented It Out (I just made up that nickname...its catchy). And while you may be disappointed to know that our little or big Jared was ready to become the next Larry Flint the most devastating part of the story is why he started to eat Subway.

"In fact, what got Jared hooked on Subway in the first place was laziness. The sandwich chain had opened a branch on the first floor of Jared’s dorm, and what with his busy porn company, Jared began eating the sandwiches out of extreme laziness. It was the closest fast food available!"

As someone who has eaten dinner at Subway 6 of the past 7 nights I feel used and dirty. However I am lazy (and am unable to catch fly balls) so until a closer sub place opens by my hotel, I will continue to eat there, but I will be sure to show my displeasure in the form on a frown when I order. I urge everyone to follow suit.


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"May God guide you on your journey"--Michael Scott talking to his boss