Top Baby Names 2008

Since my wife and I are officially the last couple to not have kids in our immediate circle of family and friends, we have been party to more than one baby naming ritual and even joined in on the fun ourselves. I've come to the conclusion that parents want to try and have a unique and meaningful name for their kid, which is understandable, but like so many other things in this world, good intentions often result in absolutely ridiculous and quite humorous results.

Most of you have heard of Knowshawn Moreno - he's the star running back for UGA. During last year's bowl season, the commentators saw fit to explain the origins of his name. Apparently, Shawn is a family name, and the mother wanted her son to be smart, so she simply put part of the word "knowledge" in there. Using this logic, I am initiating proceedings to change my name to "Big Johnson Money Bags" because I want to be rich and....you get the idea. I'll let you know how it turns out.

New Zealand appears to have a similar phenomenon. In fact, it's so bad that family court judges have stepped in and began undoing some rather interesting names. A judge made a 9-year old girl a ward of the state in order to change her name from Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii to something they won't tell us (to protect her identity, but sources tell me her new name is Princess Consuela Banana Hammock).

According to New Zealand law, "...names that would cause offense to a reasonable person..." are not allowed. Here are some of the names that have been rejected: Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit. However, Number 16 Bus Shelter and Violence made it through the review process.

I don't know about you, but I kinda like the sound of Yeah Detroit. And since we don't have the Stupid Name Review Bureau here in the States, you can go ahead and plan on there being a Yeah Detroit Sawyer running around in a few years.