Further Proof of Human Stupidity

I could simply write "reality television" and be done with this post, but we have standards here at D&F. For the most part, The Discovery Chanel and other documentary-heavy stations have decent reality programming, but like everything else in this world, there's an exception to prove every rule.

"It Takes a Thief" has two supposed ex-burglars break into people's home, steal their things, and ransack the place in an effort to show people how vulnerable they are to such an attack. My brother Andrew loves this show and is watching it pretty much every afternoon when I get home. Here's a universal synopsis for every episode of "It Takes a Thief" ever made: ex-thief breaks into home; homeowners come home and are somehow surprised that they have been robbed; "victims" watch tape of their home being robbed; "victims" get upset; "victims" get mad a thief; Discovery Chanel puts everything back in its place, cleans the house, and springs for a $1,000+ security system. Roll credits.

Here's my problem with it: the "victims" know they are going to get robbed. They give permission to have surveillance cameras put all over their house. They give pre-theft interviews. I wouldn't be surprised if the producers of the show give them a time frame for when the robbery will take place.

Yet, despite knowing all of this, these idiots still get visibly upset when they arrive back home and "discover" the robbery. The wives often cry and say something along the lines of being violated. The husbands make various threats of kicking someone's ass. The phrase, "I can't believe this is happening" is repeated ad nauseam. And the coup de grace - when the "victims" confront the "thief" they are mad and make feeble attempts to express this anger.

I've come to the sad conclusion that I am entirely too intelligent and well-balanced to be on any sort of reality TV or even Deal or No Deal.