Universal Truth Time

There's a very limited number of things that will transcend cultures and time - things that anyone anywhere can relate to regardless of their background. Humor is on that short list. But not just any humor. I'm talking about the basic humor that even an infant understands - dick and fart jokes. I can't even think of what else would be on the list - taxes? death?. Yeah - we'll say death, taxes, and dick and fart jokes are the three universal truths of mankind.

In yet another useless study, the University of Wolverhampton (located in England) has compiled a top 10 list of the world's oldest jokes. The winner? Well, the oldest joke on record - not necessarily the funniest - comes from ancient Sumeria (known today as Southern Iraq). And it goes like this: Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap. That's right - the oldest recorded joke in the world is about wives not farting in front of their husbands.

Other humor gems from centuries ago include:

From Egypt - "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

And England - "What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."

Of course, the academics at the University of Wolverhampton effectively suck the funny out of these jokes by proceeding to explain why they are funny. Friggin' nerds.

Friday Video Post on Thursday!

Because this is so friggin' funny, I decided to post it today. WARNING - There is some adult language, so if you're at work, use the headphones.

Please to enjoy:


Supreme Court Rules Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'

Do You Think This Will Get Me Sued?

The headline on Drudge is this:

"China builds lunar rover prototype..."

After the link, you will read this:

"...turn signal permanently on; top speed 27 mph"

It's Friday, so I'm Phoning This One In

I've felt like it should be Friday since Wednesday, so my brain is really not working right now. As such, I'm going to simply post a video instead of finding a silly news story to highlight. At least it's a pretty damn funny video.


Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot

Jerry O'Connell Makes Up For All His Bad Movies and Shows

Remember the Scientology video William posted last week? Well, here's a spoof from Jerry O'Connell and the folks at funnyordie.com. It's awesome.

Again, Sean would normally be responsible for videos, but he only works on the weekend.

I'm Surprised Someone Just Came Up With This

I seriously think I had this same idea when I first found out about the Make a Wish Foundation:


Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes

The best part is when the kid wishes away the foundation's pro bono legal team. Classic.

Wife of the Year

You know you have a keeper when your wife agrees to let you do this. It had to taken a little time to get all the moves down, but it was well worth it. You have a room full of people who appreciate the fact that they don't have to watch you twirl around in circles for three and a half minutes, and you get your reception video posted all over the internet.

Judging by the look of the girl she seems to have had plenty of practice dancing to hip hop songs...with a pole near by...naked. Don't worry this video is safe for work, it is simply a couple dancing to their first song. No bad language, no naked parts, sorry Bobby.

Receive A Call From Borat

Do you love making prank phone calls, but always crack up laughing before you can get the word hello out? Well now you can let Borat make the call for you. If you have a relative or friend that is an icemaker, prostitute, ping pong player, or an assortment of other things that are to racy to put on this blog you can click here to send a personalized message from Borat.

There are a good number of options to choose from, and it is perfect timing for the holidays when you should be calling and connecting with all of your close friends and relatives. What better way to spread the holiday cheer and let someone know they have a nice face like Liza Minelli.

On a side note if you are listening at work you may want to turn your speakers down a little, the messages are not too bad, language wise, just PG-13 rated.

Leeeeeroy Jenkins! Returns

Many of you called or commented about yesterdays post involving Leeroy Jenkins. By many I mean Bobby, but that does account for 25% of our readership. Anyway we can't help but laugh at Leeroy's antics in ruining the day of all of his cyber friends.

This video shows what the equivalent would be in real world terms. I think it is pretty accurate.

Sexual Chocolate...Sexual Chocolate!

Who doesn't love a good Gospel singer? I know that my dad will attend a church solely based on the talent of the choir and the taste of the Communion wine. He went to a church were he believed that all the sinners who went to Confession that week were sent to the choir for their penance.

However, the singers at his Church do not compare to the talent of this Gospel singer. I am not sure where he is from, but he does a beautiful rendition of O'mazing Grace. He takes the old gospel hymn Amazing Grace and makes it his own. Truly wonderful. The best part is at the end when he really brings it home.


I think this guy might have watched the movie, Coming to America, one to many times and took some singing lessons from the band Sexual Chocolate. What do you think? At the end of that song I wasn't expecting him to say Amen, but rather, "Sexual chocolate...(feet stomping) Sexual Chocolate!"

They Can't All be Blockbusters

Spiderman 3 scored big again this weekend taking the number 1 spot again for best box office draw. However, for every Spiderman that is released there are 100's of other movies that are so poorly put together they never should have been released in the first place, does Last Action Hero ring any bells.

This video is making the rounds and it compiles footage of the worst scenes in cinematic history, and I say I think they did a pretty good job. The best one is the "Worst Reaction" winner from Trolls 2. It should also be noted that the "Most Random Line" footage has a dirty word in it, but it is bleeped out. Just incase you are watching this at work with your boss, you may want to turn the volume down during that scene.

A Great Time Waster

As you know we are HUGE fans of The Office (Thursday night is the season finale...it is on at 8pm Eastern time) and as I was perusing their website I came across this great game. It is The Office quote game. My brothers and I basically came up with this game last year and NBS stole it. They start a quote out for you and you have to finish it word for word. Even as someone who watches each episode multiple times I can not finish most of the quotes...but it is a great time waster.

In the comment section we can start our own favorite quote string. I will post one of my favorite Office quotes below.


------------------------------------------------------------
"This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell outta here."--Michael Scott speaking to Toby during Diversity Day

Oldie but a Goodie!

It is time for another installment of Oldie but a Goodie. This video comes from the Conan O'brien show which is always good for a laugh or two. If you watch Conan at all he is a big fan of Chuck Norris, and he could be responsible for turning Chuck Norris into a folk hero. Conan will frequently show clips of Chuck's television shows and point out how "cool" Chuck is.

He was hesitant to show this clip, and I think after watching it you will realize why.

Roy Rules!

Scarlett Johanson hosted SNL last week and the highlight of the show, besides her monologue, had to be this digital short done by Andy Sandberg. Andy loves his wife, but I think he loves his brother-in-law a little more.

Now I love my brother-in-law, but I don't know if I would go this far, sorry Joseph.

Note: There is some language that might not be safe for work so you might want to watch at home.

The New Batman Movie is Out!

Not many people know this, but I used to be a independent movie director. During my run I made quite a bit of films, but only one generated a lot of industry buzz. After realizing things were getting to corporate I decided to retire from the film industry.

After seeing this new Batman film I am glad that I did retire. I would not be able to compete with films like these. The realism, cinematography, directing, and acting are just brilliant. Enjoy the movie and rest assured there will be a sequel.

Another Oldie but Goodie!

Continuing with our award winning series, "Oldie but Goodie" we dug up this old video which is sure to leave you smiling. I know a lot of people had seen the Ball State sportscaster clip we showed earlier and this is keeping with the same theme.

It seems like a good formula. Find a college student that wants to be involved with broadcasting, give him/her no formal training, and throw them in front of a camera. It is sure to equal comedy gold. This video is of a wannabe broadcaster doing a weather report. He is so bad, yet so good. The best is when he gets in front of the green screen and doesn't quite know where to point.

On a side note: I would not recommend going to Google images and typing "old lady" into the search box. Whether moderate search is on or not the first picture is quite disturbing and NSFW (not safe for work.) Geez Google, and I thought you were family friendly.

Real Men of Genius

If you are anything like my wife you like Bud Light's Real Men of Genius commercials. I am not sure what her favorite one is but I am sure it involves flatulence (she is a sucker for those kind of jokes.)

I was reading Bill Simmons Sports Guy blog today and he has a section where he links to a bunch of web-sites and what not. One of his links was to this site which has 66 of the Real Men of Genius ads. I am not sure if it has every one but it comes close, and it is sure to have your favorite one.

-Sean

Could This Be the Worst Product Name Ever?

This is a funny video I found via The Consumerist and it just goes to show that the name you choose for a product could be a very important decision. I think this video was made in the early 80's right before the disease, AIDS, got world-wide attention. If you are looking to shed a few pounds and you have tried all the diets out there why not give Ayds a chance.



-Sean

Where's My Pizza?

This is a funny video brought to my atttention by the fine folks at Deadspin.com. It shows a guy going for a foul ball in yesterdays Redsox - Angels game. Instead of getting the foul ball he gets some beer spilled on him, the ridicule from his friends for not catching the ball, and of course the mandatory Pizza slice thrown at him for missing the ball. Oh you didn't know if you miss a foul ball at a baseball game someone gets to throw a piece of pizza at you, well in Boston that is the case.

According to Deadspin:

Basically, the guy who missed the ball and received the pizza toss had, earlier in the game, been mocking the pizza tosser for eating a pizza in the stands. So when he missed the foul ball, all was fair game

The video is below and is pretty entertaining. The announcers spend a good four minutes talking about the incident and the visual of the guy throwing the pizza is great. About 1:45 into the video is when you get the slow-mo shot of "The Throw."



-Sean

We're Back Baby, and the Rent is Due!

Sorry for the delay in posting, but William has been out faking illness so he doesn't have to play me in Ping Pong, and I have been busy entertaining Christie's college friends with funny anecdotes and Cosmo's.

I expected to see some updates from William, but supposedly, he first was suffering exhaustion from staying up to late in a smoke filled bar, and then it was the flu, and now it is Mononucleosis. William we hope you have a speedy recovery and are able to play Sean in Ping Pong before you go up to Dayton for your new job.

Anyway, I found this video yesterday and it is worth sharing if you haven't already seen it. Will Ferrell has already conqured television and film, and now he is making his way into web video. It is a funny skit involving him and a not too nice landlord who wants her money. The language is a little PG-13 so if you are at work you might want to put your headphones on.
Link found via (funnyordie.com)