Venzuela Has Its Priorities Straight

If I had to make a list of world leaders that are most likely to be works of fiction - not that they're imaginary; rather, that the personas are fictional (like professional wrestling, but with nuclear weapons and the UN) - Hugo Chavez would be at the top of the list. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, due to his comically short height, is a close second, FYI.

Anyway, Hugo Chavez, besides having a name that sound like a professional wrestler, is guaranteed to say and / or do something stupid every 17 minutes. It's a fundamental law of the universe. Stephen Hawking discovered this shortly before the whole super massive black hole thing.

Here's the latest example: this past Friday, a Venezuelan TV station, controlled by the government (read: Hugo Chavez) removed The Simpsons from its lineup. No, as amazing as it is, this is not the stupid part. The reason for removing the longest running comedy show on American television is that the government felt that The Simpsons was not appropriate for children. That's horse-sh**. I grew up watching The Simpsons, and....well, maybe they have a point.

So they must have put something much more suitable for children in the 11am weekday time slot, right? Something like Barney, or The Price is Right, or any number of kid friendly options. Nope, Hugo Chavez and his crack team of government thugs put Baywatch: Hawaii in the vacant time slot.

Animation and funny jokes: bad for kids. Blatant objectification of sex and horrid acting: good for kids. It all makes sense.

Babs Walters: Insane + Idiotic = Fascinating

From ABC news.com

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/Story?id=3948323&page=1

Last night, Barbara Walters unveiled her 2007 10 Most Fascinating People list, complete with interviews with the "winners". This year, the simple mind of Barbara was "fascinated" by the likes of Justin Timberlake, the Beckhams, Bill Clinton, the creators of MySpace, Katherine Heigl, and Don Imus. Yes, I know that's only 8. Also in the list is my personal favorite Soon-to-Be Despot, Hugo Chavez. Babs was fascinated by the man who claims to drink 20 cups of coffee a day (Huh?)

Here's some other fascinating things Chavez has done:

1. Shutting down TV and radio stations that are critical of Chavez's policies

2. Nationalizing (aka stealing) industries to increase his own wealth

3. Being BFF with Castron and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

And the list goes on.

Why is this guy fascinating? He's insane. He exploits the fears and desires of poor people so that he can feed his power-hungry ego. He thinks socialism is a good idea (that's where the idiocy part come in). His version of diplomacy is to result to 2nd grade name calling contests. What is that?

My favorite part of the interview is how Walters doesn't mention the rampant election fraud that put Chavez in office. Millions (that's 6 zeroes) of dead people voted in his last election. But that doesn't matter - let's help legitimize this nut job by putting him on American television.

P.S. - I didn't bother finding out of the most fascinating person was. My brain hurts from trying to figure this one out.

This is America's Enemy?

So you're the leader of a country with a significant amount of oil deposits. You're friends with the ultra-cool guys of the UN social circle - people like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Fidel Castro, and let's not forget Danny Glover. You got tons of laughs when you called W 'El Diablo,' and what do you do? You take a picture that just opens yourself up for a caption contest. So here it is - the first ever Dink & Flicka Caption Contest. If yours is the funniest, you will receive a pint of your choice, compliments of Bobby. Since I am buying, I am the judge. Winner to be announced on Sunday, December 2, 2007.

Here's my contribution: 'B14 - Si, Si, I sink your battleship. Take that American capitalist pig!'