Universal Truth Time

There's a very limited number of things that will transcend cultures and time - things that anyone anywhere can relate to regardless of their background. Humor is on that short list. But not just any humor. I'm talking about the basic humor that even an infant understands - dick and fart jokes. I can't even think of what else would be on the list - taxes? death?. Yeah - we'll say death, taxes, and dick and fart jokes are the three universal truths of mankind.

In yet another useless study, the University of Wolverhampton (located in England) has compiled a top 10 list of the world's oldest jokes. The winner? Well, the oldest joke on record - not necessarily the funniest - comes from ancient Sumeria (known today as Southern Iraq). And it goes like this: Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap. That's right - the oldest recorded joke in the world is about wives not farting in front of their husbands.

Other humor gems from centuries ago include:

From Egypt - "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

And England - "What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."

Of course, the academics at the University of Wolverhampton effectively suck the funny out of these jokes by proceeding to explain why they are funny. Friggin' nerds.