We Need to Quit Assuming Scientists Are Smart

As my distinguished colleague has pointed out in recent posts, "scientists" are spending a shocking amount of time and money studying things that are completely useless (cow burping and global warming) and / or telling us things that we already know (Nerds don't get laid).

Now, German "scientists" have gone out and did a study - I'm talking scientific method here - to figure out if sports fans get excited during big games. Shockingly, they discovered that passionate fans have increased levels of stress, blood pressure, and run a higher risk of a heart attack during the big game. Thanks, guys. How about determining if drunk people are more or less likely to engage in casual sex. Oh, wait, you already took care of that one.

I'm pretty sure there are countless other things scientists could be discovering besides confirming what everyone already knows. Aren't there some pesky diseases in the world that could use some cures? Diabetes, cancer, AIDS? Or how about working on that flying car I was promised as a kid by Saturday morning cartoons? If you use the Back to the Future movies as a benchmark (and why wouldn't you?), we are seriously way behind where we should be on technological innovations - widespread video phones, fax machines in every room of the house, large holographic sharks that advertise movies, and oh yeah - FLYING CARS!!!!!

So, this is a notification to the world's scientists - I am no longer going to assume you are smart people. Before, the intelligence hierarchy was something like this: doctors, lawyers, scientists, Ken from Jeopardy, and the list goes on (Scientologists being at the bottom, tied with people who buy these things) Now, I'm putting scientists behind Deal or No Deal contestants.

Note to scientists: you can redeem yourselves, but it's going to have to involve flying cars.

NASA is Up to Something

Last night, an asteroid passed really close to the Earth. Well, it was over 300,000 miles away, but it was the closest an asteroid had ever passed. Looks like NASA needs to start watching Armageddon and Deep Impact to get some ideas on how to save the world.

Since the asteroid was so close, NASA took a couple pictures. I don't know about you, but when I hear NASA, I think of the most technologically advanced things on the planet. If the paparazzi can photograph every square inch of Britney's nether region in less than a second, then NASA can certainly get a decent picture of an asteroid. You would think.

Well, it turns out the classic 1979 video game Asteroids wasn't too far off. Here are two pictures. Which one is a game from 1979 and which one was taken with the most advanced cameras available in 2008?











What the hell is NASA doing with all that money?

Get Ready To Be Amazed

This is a pretty cool optical illusion I found the other day. Basically look at the cross in the middle and you will start to see a green dot, and then if you look at it longer the dots will dissapear. Enjoy.

Click on Link to be amazed.