Scientology Gets Sued

This week, a former member of the Church of Scientology sued the Church along with Tom Cruise for violation of federal RICO statutes. Without getting into the really boring legal details, the plaintiff is contending that Scientology is nothing more than a massive racketeering organization, like the mob only with spaceships and evil intergalactic rulers instead of fat Italians.

In honor of this, I am re-posting the classic South Park clip that describes the origins of Scientology.

Please to enjoy:

Not So Exclusive---Tom Cruise pitches Scientology!!

This is a gold mine of hilarity. I guess there has been a video floating around the World Wide Web about Tom Cruise pitching his incredible religion of Scientology. Finally someone with big enough rubber testicles has decided to post it. If you follow that link at the top, then you will see what I am talking about. It was on YouTube and Google Video however the fine folks over at Scientology decided that they didn’t want it up and threatened those sites if they didn’t take them down.

The guy that runs Gawker.com decided that this was too news worthy to take down. As he says…if Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch was an 8 on the crazy scale…this is a 10. If you have time watch the entire video. I wonder why if the people at Scientology are so excited about their religion and Tom Cruise as their spokesperson why they want to suppress this video? I am not going to lie…after watching this video I am pretty convinced to make the switch.

You may be asking yourself why I would be willing to do that. Well it is with logic like this (about a minute into the video):

"Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident, it's not like anyone
else. You drive past, you know you have to do something about it, because you
know you're the only one that can really help."

Right on brother…right on. There are so many times when I see EMT’s on the scene of tragic accidents and just feel sorry for the victims because I know those EMT’s (who are trained in emergency medicine) aren’t Scientologist and they aren’t giving the proper treatment. What they really need is some midget celebrity to suck some thetans out of them.

Also, about 4 minutes into the video Cruise speaks of SP’s (no, not sexual predators) but “suppressive persons” and laughs like Hillary Clinton when asked a tough question. This is hilarious and should be watched by anyone that has ever wanted to make fun of Tom Cruise on a higher level. Don’t be worried about the insane level of acronyms he uses. Here is a list of what they mean:

SP—Suppressive Persons
KSW—Keep Scientology Working
PTS’s—Potential Trouble Sources

There are a couple other ones but I couldn’t write them down fast enough…if you catch them you can post a comment and let us know so we can talk the lingo of Scientology. Here is the link again just in case you missed it up top. I would probably go look at it quickly because you never know when he might have to take it down. Enjoy it…this is an early Christmas gift.