There's No Fix for That Kind of Crazy

Since yesterday's sole post (thanks for being lazy, William) was somewhat heavy and not terribly funny, I figured I'd start off with one of D&F's favorite topics - the Spears family. Of late, there hasn't been anything real interesting (funny) about Britney or Jamie Lynn.

Sure, Britney was hoped up on meth for a few days, stalked some random kids outside a school, and convinced me that she does not own any bras, but this was nothing to write home about. In fact, I would have found it shocking if she wasn't on meth and didn't try to steal other people's kids. Britney Spears acting like a person without a chemical imbalance - that would have been cause for concern.

Well, I knew it was only a matter of time before the paparazzi found more paydirt with the Spears sisters. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times - you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl.

Let's start with Jamie Lynn Spears. According to the highly reputible Star Magazine, Jamie and her baby daddy are now planning on keeping the baby. Jamie seems to have no problem with the fact that her Hollywood career is very likely over. In fact, soon-to-be Mom and Dad are looking for a double-wide to start their life together (because a single-wide simply wouldn't do for a family of three). Star also reports that shortly before going public with her pregnancy, Jamie Lynn was at a party and asked a random guy for sex. Reportadly, she said something along the lines of, "Don't worry. I'm pregnant, so I can't get pregnant again." Man, do I miss living in Louisiana.

In Britney news, it seems that PETA has a different theory on what is causing the elder Spears' problems - dairy and meat products. Yeah, PETA, it's the ice cream and hamburgers she's eating, not the mass amounts of meth, prescription drugs, and alcohol that's causing the problem. Not to mention the fact that Britney has no concept of reality and that pesky manic depression. Nope - it has to be cheese. Friggin' hippies.

Anyway, have a good Thursday. The week is almost over.

Irony and Stupidity

So I guess it's official that Britney's 16-year old sister is pregnant. Naturally, there's going to be outrage and shock from the American public. But none of this should really come as a surprise - there's a shocking number of teenage pregnancies every year, and if there's one thing I've learned from the Spears family (never though I would say those words) is that just because you're famous, doesn't mean you're excluded from general stupidity (the main cause of teenage pregnancy; the number two cause is raging teenage hormones, for those of you playing at home).

Anyway, here's an article from July 07 when the pregnancy was first reported by the National Enquirer. And here's a list of things that should cause alarm in you after reading the article:

1. Lynne Spears (the mother of this domestic meltdown) was pissed when she found out about the pregnancy, not because her 16-year old daughter is pregnant, but because Jamie Lynn told Britney first. Might want to re-think those priorities Lynne.

2. In another shocking display of her lack of judgement, Lynne and ex-husband Jamie consulted with none other than Kevin Federline for advice on what to do if Jame is pregnant. Is there no one else this woman knows who could offer better advice? A delusional schizo could probably provide better advice than the man who unleashed "Po-po-Zao" on the world.

3. Jamie sought contraception advice from Britney. Amazingly, Britney managed to give decent advice and told Jamie to go on the pill. Jamie refused, stating that the pill would make her fat..... Do I really need to state the obvious comment here?

4. A 16-year old is living with her 19-year old boyfriend. What the F is this? Why would any parent let her kid do this?

Like I said, it shouldn't be a surprise that a 16-year old is pregnant, let alone that the soon-to-be mother is related to Britney Spears. I would say hope that Jamie Lynn turns out the be a better parent than Britney, but it's obvious that Jamie doesn't learn from other people's mistakes too well.

Oh well, I'm going to grab a beer, sit back and watch the train wreck. Should be interesting.

I See A Parent of the Year Nomination in Her Future

If this turns out to be true...wow. While I read celebrity rags when I am at the doctors office or if they are at Sean and Christie’s house, I am not a big fan of blogging about them…there are many more important topics like urinal etiquette. However this is ridiculous. OK! Magazine and TMZ (both highly reputable sources) are reporting that Jamie Lynn Spears (yeah…Britney’s 16 year old sister) is pregnant.

She is reported as to saying that she wants to keep the baby (which is a positive...maybe she could put it up for adoption) and be an incredible mom like her older sister (I added that last part). Not only did she get knocked up while being only 16 but she was living with her boyfriend of a year. So…lets do the math. She started “dating” this guy when she was 15. Moved in together within the last year. I wonder how that conversation went? Maybe something like this:

Spears: I really like the Pink Power Ranger
Idiot Boyfriend: Ummm…yeah. I just got the new Razor Scooter.
Spears: That is awesome…wanna move in with me?
Idiot Boyfriend: Ummm…sure.

Where are the parents? I know that mamma Spears is not all there…but what about the boyfriends’ parents? Could it be that they are as stupid and trashy as the Spears’ Family? I pray that this kid somehow is able to rise above what it will be born into and actually make something of itself. It is sad when we feel sorry for the kid of a millionaire celebrity even before they are born. Says a lot for the Spears Family. I am pretty sure that we could go ahead and nominate the entire Spears family as Idiots of the Year.

---Update

Her boyfriend is 19 years old. Pretty sure that this breaks some type of law. The future father's name is Casey Aldridge. I guess his parents are not that important to the story but Jamie's should still be relevant in her life. This is just sad.