There's No Fix for That Kind of Crazy

Since yesterday's sole post (thanks for being lazy, William) was somewhat heavy and not terribly funny, I figured I'd start off with one of D&F's favorite topics - the Spears family. Of late, there hasn't been anything real interesting (funny) about Britney or Jamie Lynn.

Sure, Britney was hoped up on meth for a few days, stalked some random kids outside a school, and convinced me that she does not own any bras, but this was nothing to write home about. In fact, I would have found it shocking if she wasn't on meth and didn't try to steal other people's kids. Britney Spears acting like a person without a chemical imbalance - that would have been cause for concern.

Well, I knew it was only a matter of time before the paparazzi found more paydirt with the Spears sisters. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times - you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl.

Let's start with Jamie Lynn Spears. According to the highly reputible Star Magazine, Jamie and her baby daddy are now planning on keeping the baby. Jamie seems to have no problem with the fact that her Hollywood career is very likely over. In fact, soon-to-be Mom and Dad are looking for a double-wide to start their life together (because a single-wide simply wouldn't do for a family of three). Star also reports that shortly before going public with her pregnancy, Jamie Lynn was at a party and asked a random guy for sex. Reportadly, she said something along the lines of, "Don't worry. I'm pregnant, so I can't get pregnant again." Man, do I miss living in Louisiana.

In Britney news, it seems that PETA has a different theory on what is causing the elder Spears' problems - dairy and meat products. Yeah, PETA, it's the ice cream and hamburgers she's eating, not the mass amounts of meth, prescription drugs, and alcohol that's causing the problem. Not to mention the fact that Britney has no concept of reality and that pesky manic depression. Nope - it has to be cheese. Friggin' hippies.

Anyway, have a good Thursday. The week is almost over.

Breaking News: Britney Spears...Is Crazy

In an incredible twist to the saga that is the Spears Family life...Britney decides to hold her kids hostage for three hours while intoxicated (either alcohol or something else) and then get tied down to a stretcher and taken off to the hospital. If only that was the beginning of the story.

Earlier in the day, Brit was scheduled to be deposed by the lawyer representing K-Fed. The deposition (which was the third time they tried to do this) was set to begin at 9:45am and conclude at 11:45am. Brit showed up at 11:31am.

Later that day and into the night, Britney had the kids for some reason (K-Fed, the responsible parent, has full custody of them) and K-Fed's bodyguard came to get the kids from her. She decides that since she is a washed up singer she can hold them hostage and not give them back. Since K-Fed's bodyguard is not a very good bodyguard he calls the cops and they rush to her house. She held them up for 3 HOURS until they and her were taken away.

A couple questions. Why wasn't Britney arrested on the spot? It is a court order that she hand her kids over...she was refusing, so she should be held in contempt. The cops are refusing to say what intoxicated Britney...if she was on drugs or alcohol and endangered her kids...shouldn't she get more than a ambulance ride to the hospital?

Rumor has it that Britney was upset that Jamie Lynn was going to be on the cover of OK Magazine for the second straight week for getting knocked up...so Britney was going to steal her thunder (I totally made that up, but that is the kind of stuff that gets you recognized). Congrats Brit...you are probably the worst human being alive (at least bottom 10). We can add holding your kids hostage to the list of antics you have pulled. When K-Fed becomes a role model for your kids...their lives are ruined as well.