Barack Hus***in Obama

I have purposely stayed away from writing about politics lately, mainly because I am burnt out on it and have no excitement about the three remaining candidates (as Sean pointed out this weekend, this is the first election I have not supported the winner). However the recent controversy started by Willy Cunningham last week about the use of Barack Obama’s middle name has got me thinking that Barack, his wife Michelle, and the US media are all a bunch of babies. I realize that Hussein (his middle name) conjures up images of Saddam and contributes to the rumors of Barack being a Muslim (which he is not) but give me a break, its politics and has always involved dirty tricks. It doesn’t help when John Sidney McCain (who believe it or not is running on the Republican side of the ticket) runs out as fast as possible to apologize. Where is John Sidney McCain’s testicular fortitude? Willy Cunningham is an entertainer (talk radio host) and not a spokesman for any candidate. Why does McCain have to apologize for him? Will John come out and apologize for everyone who made fun of me because my middle name is Thomas and last name Sawyer. I will be awaiting his news conference. Where was the outrage when a Hillary Clinton questioner called President Bush a "bastard"? I forgot, the media hates George Bush and his wife is not running out calling anything said about him the “ultimate fear bomb”.

There is a solution to this middle name brouhaha. Someone has gotten the rights to Barack’s fake middle name and is auctioning it off for someone to rename. This is where the creative genius of D&F readers comes into play and we will finally give Barack a more mainstream middle name and Republican candidates won’t have to sprint out to the microphones to suck up to Hussein Obama and the media. Here are my suggestions and hopefully they will finally get the “stigma” of Hussein off to Barack’s back:

--Ahmadinejad

--Mohammad

--Jeffrey (but that might be too controversial…we will have to see)

Put your suggestions in the comment sections and if there are any good ones, I might actually bid on this thing and maybe D&F can be the official site of Barack Hussein Obama’s fake middle name.

"Shadow Government" Not Even Trying Anymore

If you're in the know (like I am), you know that the entire American government is just a sham. Congress, the President, voting, all that stuff is a front designed to give the public the idea that they can actually change something by picking a name on a piece of paper. The real government - more popularly known as the Shadow Government - is really in control. It's an alliance of the Neo-Cons, Freemasons, and Colonel Sanders (who is not dead, FYI).

Now, I could get into a lot of trouble for blowing the top of this thing, but it's really frustrating when you see some of the laziness that passes for New World Order nowadays. Anyone with half a brain knows that the Shadow Government has had it in for Barack Obama ever since he tossed his hat in the ring.

Initially, he didn't seem like a threat. Hillary had it wrapped up. Side note - while Hillary may seem like a threat to the Shadow Government, she's actually a brilliant decoy that will allow the SG to spread its influence exponentially.

Anyway, Barack and his camp have managed to do the impossible, and now the SG must take action. Well, apparently, they're not concerned about keeping a lid on their involvement. Everyone knows that the key to a successful conspiracy is secrecy. Did we read about the racist hurricane machine before Katrina? No. Was the Pentagon showcasing it's building destroying missiles prior to 9-11? Heck no.

I wake up this morning and read this on Drudge: Secret Service ordered police to stop weapons screening at Dallas rally....What the F is that? It's like making all the members of the SG were T-shirts and hand out pamphlets giving away all the best secrets. The least they could have done is replaced the metal detectors with fake ones. That wouldn't have been nearly as obvious. This sort of crap makes me yearn for the days of Zapruder and his 8mm tape or secret NASA sound stages.

Clearly, something is up at the Shadow Government. Either a bunch of slackers are in charge, or they simply don't care about maintaining secrecy any longer. If it's the later, than we're all in trouble. I can't go into detail right now, but if you start seeing an increase in "tests" of the Emergency Broadcast System, you better find somewhere good to hide. Yeah, they're not "tests."

The Super Delegate

I've got to be honest. I'm really impressed with the campaign Barack Obama is running. Since November 3, 2004, the majority of media outlets have worked under the assumption that Hillary Clinton would be the next Democratic Presidential candidate and, subsequently, President. Hillary was the "chosen" one. With Barack's sweep of the Potomac Primaries yesterday, Hillary's Kung-Fu grip on the nomination is no longer a certainty, and the role of the super delegate now becomes a critical part of the Democratic nomination process.

So that begs the question - what is a super delegate? Basically, a super delegate is an elected position within the Democratic National Committee. Unlike a normal state delegate, a super delegate can vote for whomever he wants, and conveniently enough, his vote counts for way more than a regular delegate.

The super delegate was created because the DNC leadership felt that the voters (normal people) had to much control over the nomination process. Wait. Why are Democrats removing power from the voters and putting it in the hands of a very few select people? I thought the Democrats were the party of the people, and the Republicans were the elitists? To be fair, the Republicans do have some super delegates, but nowhere close to the number that the Dems have.

I would have a picture of a known super delegate, but none seem to exist. So, here's an artist's rendition of what a Democratic super delegate may look like:

"Me am super delegate. Me know what good for America."

Why don't the Dems want the individual voter to pick the party's nominee? There are two readily available explanations - one, they don't trust the general population of the US; or, two, the powers that be want to stay that way, and the best way to go about it is to diminish the power of the vote. So pick one - either way, it's antithical to democracy.

The idea of a super delegate also speaks to Barack's and Hillary's (and the Democratic party as a whole) approach to government: The government is all-knowing and good for you; the individual is stupid. Anything that is wrong in the world can be fixed with the appropriate government agency. Right.

How long has Congress been looking at steriods in baseball? 3 years? Has anything been accomplished? Nope. Since taken the House and Senate in 2006, the Dems have launched a ridiculous number of investigations, but have done nothing to address the biggest problems the country faces: illegal immigration, social securty reform, national security... the list goes on.

Ronald Regan said it best: "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government, and I'm here to help.'"

Sorry for the not-so humorous post. I think it's important to know the nature of who may be the leader of this country in less than a year, and when an entire political party seems dedicated to non-democratic practices, you might want to rethink supporting that parties candidate.

Funny stuff for the rest of the day. I promise.

I redact my predictions!!!

Not too long ago I boldly predicted what was going to happen in the Presidential primaries. I went out on a limb and declared Obama the victor even though only one state had actually voted. I thought that he had momentum and nothing could stop him...I clearly underestimated the Clinton's.

Obama was up double digits in some polls that were released yesterday and I thought that at 8:00pm last night (when the polls closed) Obama was going to be declared the winner and might even announce he was running for King of the World. That clearly did not happen and now Hillary gets to call herself the "Comeback Kid" forever. Whoever thought that she should tear up the day before the vote is a genius. I am not saying that move was political...but it was, come on, its the Clinton's.

On the Republican side McCain won by 5% and that was pretty much expected (if not closer than people thought). While I do not support McCain in the primaries I am not too upset that he won...at least it was The Huck. Mitt should have won New Hampshire...he summers there (Bobby claims that if you use summer as a verb you are rich...I tend to agree). It is now on to Michigan for the Republicans and the race will be between McCain, Romney and The Huck. Huck will have more Evangelicals to rely on, McCain will have the wave of momentum and Romeny's dad was the governor there a long time ago. It should be close but I guess anything is possible.

I am finished with predictions on the primaries...obviously they only bring me shame. So I officially redact my earlier predictions...therefore you can not bring them up at any future time. The power of redaction.

THE 2008 Iowa Caucus

The 2008 Iowa Caucus is in the history book...and it was somewhat historic. Barack Obama crushed everyone else. He garnered 8% more than Don't Sue Me Bro and 9% more than Hillary. There is no other way to spin this than to say that Obama ran away with it. He is the favorite going into New Hampshire and if I had to bet...he will win the nomination. If anyone heard his victory speech last night...you know it was pretty impressive. I will never vote for him, but he sounded like a leader and like someone who knew that he was about to become the first African-American Presidential Candidate for a major party. If the enthusiasm and energy that people had in Iowa for Obama is any indication of the rest of the country...stick a fork in Hillary. Hillary's speech was not good. She was spinning way too hard and was way to excited to be finishing third. Don't Sue Me Bro sounded angry and bitter...and probably was contemplating suing someone...maybe the voters of Iowa for not voting for him.

On the Republican side it is a little more interesting. The Huck beat Mitt and beat him pretty good. Fred took third with John McCain right behind and Crazy Uncle Ron Paul taking the 5th spot with 10%. I thought it would be close but the Evangelical voters in Iowa got their church vans loaded up and went to caucus. 60% (in 2000 40%) of the Republican voters last night identified themselves as Evangelical or "born again" who not surprisingly voted for the Baptist preacher. They also said it was very important or somewhat important that the candidate share their religious views. That does not bode well for Mitt as he goes forward.

What makes this race a little different from the Democrats is that it isn't over yet. John McCain finished a "strong" fourth, coupled with a wounded Mitt means that he has a shot at taking New Hampshire come Tuesday. The Huck obviously rides a wave of momentum into New Hampshire. However, he needs to re-tool his message because New Hampshire is a little more secular than Iowa. He has to appeal to people that don't necessarily want a preacher President. Mitt has millions upon millions of dollars...so he isn't finished until he gets tired of writing checks. Fred Thompson is still in it, although just by a thread. He needs chaos in the race until South Carolina where he can be an alternative conservative to The Huck (and I hope people realize that they need an alternative). As far as Rudy goes...he does not have a shot until the big states vote on Febuary 5th...so basically he needs chaos as well.

Seeing how well my predictions are going so far, I will continue to make a fool out of myself:

Democrats:

Barack Obama becomes the nominee

Republicans:

Mitt or John McCain becomes the nominee and I can continue to vote Republican

President in 2009:

???? Not ready to go that far