Time Flies When You Suck

With football season fast approaching, I feel it's appropriate to go ahead and start setting the mood. We here at D&F are huge Auburn fans, and since we're not professional journalists, I don't feel the need to try and be objective in my reporting / commenting on college football. As such, Alabama sucks.

Do you know how much Alabama sucks? Well, consider this: the last time Alabama beat Auburn, you could buy a gallon of gas for $1.29.

WAR DAMN EAGLE!

In Mascot National Championship News

In what can only be described as a miscarriage of justice, The University of Tennessee's Smokey has won the 2008 National Mascot Championship. I realize that I am biased towards Auburn, however if you saw Smokey in action and you saw Aubie in action, there is no comparison. The article does give Aubie his props…saying that he was a strong competitor but that an oversized hound dog was a better mascot. This humble commentator begs to differ. At least the useless nut mascot that is Ohio State’s didn’t make the cut.

Below is my evidence on why Aubie should be considered one of the greatest mascots to walk planet Earth. The only explanations for moves like that is some white guy that is in epileptic shock or the premier mascot of our time. I will go with the latter, but keeping in mind I know who Aubie is in this video, I could probably make a good case for the former. WAR EAGLE!!!

Great News For Auburn

Coach Tommy Tuberville has agreed to a contract extension that will sign him through 2013. This is great news for The Auburn Tigers. Tommy is one of the most successful coaches not only in the SEC but in the nation since joining Auburn in 1999. He is the only coach in Auburn history to beat Alabama 6 times.

While I am sure that Tommy used the rumor mill to his advantage, he deserves whatever Auburn is paying him (somewhere around $3.3 million a year). Now lets go win a national championship. Auburn Tigers National Champions 2009.

WAR DAMN EAGLE!!!! 6 IN A ROW!!!

On Saturday November 24, 2007 history was attempted and failed (more on this later) but also it was made. The Iron Bowl. Some say the greatest rivalry in sports history and some would argue the third best. I would side with the former.

This game had all the elements of a great game. The history was there. The atmosphere was there. Auburn was there. And this guy was there (see inserted image). Alabama came into the game humbled by a loss (UL Monroe...yes they do have a football team) this country has not seen since September 11 (according to Alabama head coach Nick Saban). Kick off was at 7pm local time which meant Jordan-Hare Stadium was hopping.

Auburn came out of the gate rocking. Forced Alabama 3 and out and then went on to score on its first drive. They never let Alabama taste the lead...however the commentators, officials, and police dogs (more on that in another post) did everything in their power to allow that to happen.

After everything was said and done...led by Brandon Cox and Brad Lester, Auburn showed that we are the superior team and school. Brandon Cox joins Jason Campbell as the only Auburn quarterbacks to beat Alabama 3 times. And Tommy Tuberville owns the longest winning streak against Alabama in school history.

Congrats to the Auburn Tigers. Unfortunately we will have to listen to Nick Saban comparing this loss to Armageddon or maybe the extinction of the dinosaurs, whichever one is more tragic...I would go with Armageddon Nick.

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Now onto history that was not meant to be tonight. While watching the Auburn game, Sean decided to attempt to get into the Guinness Book of World Records with the lofty feat of throwing a 2/3 full water bottle into the air and catching it while laying on his back. While this is incredibly ambitious and brave of Sean, he failed miserably and will not be in the book. Too bad.

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The first Cornhole match was held tonight on the new Cornhole boards that were constructed over the weekend. We will post instructions and pictures for those out in D&F land that would like to build their own. The teams were Sean & Andrew vs. Bobby2 & William. It was a nail biter but after the dust had cleared, a bag broke and a nosey neighbor inquiring about what we were doing, Sean & Andrew pulled it out. Bobby2 was the first person to record a Cornhole (the bag going into the hole).

Put Me Down for a Four!

The man pictured to your left is none other then Auburn Cornerback David Irons. He is done playing for the football powerhouse Auburn University and is trying to impress NFL GMs and head coaches at the NFL Combine. Part of the process is taking the Wonderlic Test and according to Wikipedia,

The Wonderlic is a twelve-minute, fifty-question exam to assess aptitude for learning a job and adapting to solve problems for employees in a wide range of occupations.

Each year it seems that one or two players gain notoriety by performing so badly the media can't help but talk about it. This year that honor goes to David Irons who scored an impressive 4 on the test. The lowest score ever was a 3, so David at least is in the Top 95%. It looks like David will not be adapting very well any time soon.

If you are interested in seeing if you are smarter then David Irons you can Go Here for a sample of the Wonderlic Test. Thanks to Deadspin for the link.

- Sean

Update: I just completed the sample Wonderlic test and scored an impressive 8 which is equivalent to a 44 on the real test. I am the smartest man in the World!