TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for February 15, 2008:

In the Prank Call Hall of Fame news:
Man dials 911 over 27,000 times. Genius!!!

In news that only affects The Men in Black:
A smaller version of our Solar System discovered. Nerds around the world rejoice.

In why I want to be a lawyer news:
Woman sues Best Buy for $54 million...they lost her laptop.

In time for the Swiss to grow up news:
The Swiss continue to invent useless things...like an underwater car...that is also a convertible.

In hilarious headline news:
Arizona proves too hot for Cal!!! Get it??

In Jane Fonda making an ass out of herself again news:
Jane Fonda had to apologize for what she said live on the Today show.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for February 5, 2008:

In a blow to kid's creativity news:
Middle School punishes talented kids who can fart on queue.

In another reason not to fly United Airlines news:
United is going to start charging passengers for their second checked bag.

In incredibly pointless research and development news:
Kodak is in development of a 5 megapixel camera phone.

In Super Bowl ad news:
USA Today's Ad Meter for the Super Bowl ads.

In college basketball news:
Bobby Knight retired last night. Chairs around the world rejoiced.

In another victory for lazy people news:
Ha...The Netherlands have set the standard now. Robots who pump gas.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for January 21, 2008:

In over-doing Global Warming news:
A study of cow's farting is going on in Sweden...since there is nothing else to do there.

In stupid criminal news:
Two truck drivers steal over 300 I-Phones. Thank God they did it so stealth like...they are now in the clink.

In this should not be news news:
Illegal immigrants will not be granted driver's license in Michigan.

In possibly the greatest game ever news:
Guitar Hero has sold over $1 billion worth of games. I just want to say thank you Guitar Hero for making me a Guitar Hero.

In celebrities celebrating celebrities news:
Here are The Oscar Nominees. Hopefully this show will fall victim to the writer's strike as well.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for January 17, 2008:

In don't go there news...seriously don't go there:
Man sues over unnecessary rectal exam at hospital after getting hit in the head with a wooden beam.

In a little too much honesty news (read the first sentence of the story):
I am not sure if that is way to woo voters to your cause...implying they are stupid.

In marriages that last two weeks news:
That is how long Eddie Murphy and his new wife lasted.

In anti-climatic news:
Ike Turner died of a cocaine overdose.

In man sues because he can't take responsibility for his own actions news:
Man sues Kroger over the fact that his diet consisted of eating two bags a day of microwave popcorn and he got some health issue. Also he has no friends.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for January 16, 2008:

In the ACLU telling us it is OK to have sex in public restrooms news:
I don't know what we would do without the ACLU telling us what is private and not private.

In presidential candidates not pandering news:
Hillary thinks President Bush attempt to talk to Middle Eastern nations about the oil price is pathetic...can't wait till she is President.

In Republican primary news:
Mitt takes Michigan...now it is wide open.

In Apple being the coolest news:
I am about to jump on the Apple bandwagon...this new laptop looks pretty, pretty, pretty cool.

In more celebrities having kids without being married news:
Mathew McConaughey to be a dad...maybe the kid will wear a shirt every once in a while.

In a conflict of emotions news:
Mike Nifong declares bankruptcy. I am not sure if I should feel bad for him or not. He did ruin three kids’ lives for political gain. I am torn.

In this man hates rubber testicles on cars news:
Some politician is wasting time and money trying to ban those rubber testicles that hang off the back of trucks.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for January 15, 2008:

In useless Colorado State House members news:
Arrogant Colorado State House member kicks photographer....for taking his picture.

In sucks for wine drinkers news:
The same bottle of wine taste better when it is priced at $90 than when it is priced at $10.

In a little too little a little too late news:
Toshiba decides to drop the entry level HD DVD player to $150. Great move...should've been done before Christmas.

In the dumbest plot by a newspaper ever news:
The New York Post planted a fake Jessica Simpson at the Dallas game to distract Romo. However, the planned failed since the fake Jessica looks like a man.

In a dagger to the heart of true college football fans news:
There will not be any talk of a playoff...the NCAA presidents tabled the motion in Nashville yesterday.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for January 9, 2008:

In Communist China being heartless news:
China bans free plastic shopping bags. Where will it end commies?

In phrases that I am already tired of hearing news:
Clinton and McCain overuse the expression "comeback kid".

In Weekend at Bernie's copycat news:
2 guys arrested after wheeling a dead corpse in a chair to a check cashing place to get his Social Security. Brilliant!!!

In Hall of Fame news:
Goose Gossage rips Clemens...Zinger!

In college football playoff news:
Thank you Michael Adams (President of UGA) for speaking the truth.

In college football final news:
Final Top 25 for the AP and USA Today Coaches Poll.

In "COME ON" news:
Knocked up high schoolers want 4 weeks of maternity leave.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for January 8, 2008

In polar bears aren't so cute news:
Polar bear mom eats her cub...because she can.

In New Hampshire Primary news:
A really, really small New Hampshire town voted at midnight...big freaking deal.

In the SEC being awesome news:
LSU and Ohio State played football last night...I didn't know anything about it.

In actors not getting any SWAG news:
The Golden Globes Award Show is canceled...God does love us.

In great news for MTV Cribs (if that show is still on) and rappers:
It's only 150 inches...(insert your own that's what she said joke here).

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for January 3, 2008:

In Iowa Caucus news:
A lesson on the Iowa caucus...thanks for being difficult.

In don't go there news:
Congrats to Atlanta for having the worst busiest airport in the land.

In definitely don't go there news:
New Orleans homicide rate up over 30% from 2006.

In is that even possible news:
Celebrity cast makes The Apprentice even more annoying.

In that will teach him to be wrongly accused of rape in Britain news:
Man set free after being wrongly accused of rape...must pay room and board for his time spent in jail.

TSTWBTAT

Hope everyone had a great Christmas. Now back to the important stuff...TSTWBTAT for December 27, 2007:

In Patriots going for some kind of record news:
Everyone can see The Pats probably crush The Giants...Go Giants!!

In a holiday that really isn't a holiday news:
It's a Kwanzaa miracle!!!

In Rudy Giuliani news:
A noun, a verb and 9/11...Giuliani uses 9/11 once again.

In "sorry fat kids" news:
The Wii won't make you skinny...who knew?

In the real story is in buried news:
Chuck Norris' real name is Carlos Ray Norris...say it ain't so.

In health news:
Health myths that even doctors think are true...or do they?

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for December 21, 2007:

In global warming news:
Chicken Little doesn't like to see this after he claimed "the debate is over".

In why Putin nationalized certain industry news:
The Person Of The Year is also the richest man in Europe.

In American Hero news:
One of the remaining three World War I Vets dies at 109.

In God help us news:
If you don't know who Cynthia McKinney is then count yourself lucky...if you do know, well she is running for president.

In clear Bruce Willis' schedule news:
Armageddon 2?? Too bad the writers are still on strike...this could be gold...Jerry...gold.

In its about damn time news:
100 people arrested for not having toilets.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for December 20, 2007:

In break-up of the century news:
Jamie Lynn and her baby daddy are not together anymore.

In AOL chat news:
Al-Qaida Number 2 man is doing a little Q&A

In bus drivers soliciting sex while driving kids news:
Just read this one...only in Detroit.

In heroes news:
Three brothers will be deployed next month to Iraq...a pretty good story.

In IPod Touch news:
A good review of the IPod Touch

In The Mitchell Report fallout news:
Schilling is sticking it to Clemens...thats what she said.

In "10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife"(ironic) news:
As Joeschmoe pointed out...Lynn Spears' parenting book is put on hold...probably because she sucks at being a parent.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for December 18, 2007

In wacky Islam news:
Islam is now making words up..."re-virginize".

In Iran getting nuke technology news:
From Russia with love.

In French presidents dating hot models news:
Sarkozy is really starting to impress me.

In Global Warming news:
An agreement to agree to talk again in 2009...and who says that UN doesn’t accomplish anything?

In space news:
Black Holes fighting each other in space. Well it seems clear who is at fault here...global warming and George Bush.

In Canuck news:
$83,000 phone bill. That is crazy...but why does the headline have to point out he is lonely? That is kinda adding salt to the wound.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for December 12, 2007:

In how to "loose" 4 wives news:
Drew Peterson has lost 4 wives...help him out with a few dollars.

In gift cards news:
A little helpful hint on gift cards this Christmas season.

In word of the year news:
"w00t" is the word of the year...even though it is not a real word (it is spelled with two zeros).

In football news:
I just went 3-10 with the Atlanta Falcons...I'm going to Fayetteville, Arkansas.

In blame President Bush for all of societies problems news:
President Bush is now to blame for the increase in teenage pregnancies.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for December 11, 2007

In stupid world record news:
Impressive and pointless at the same time.

In Mars rover news:
Should have gone with Energizer.

In DVD news:
Out on DVD today

In fruit fly news:
Finally...there is a cure for fruit fly homosexuality. I was really tired of being hit on by dude fruit flies.

In crappy news:
100 hours stuck inside a bathroom...except the Brits call it a lavatory.

In what can only be described as a victory for America:
Al "Chicken Little" Gore will not serve in the next administration.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for December 6, 2007

In bringing back the dead news:
He basically lied about being dead and now he is arrested for fraud. So moral of the story...next time you die, make sure your dead.

In a major waste of prime real estate news:
Usually when the UN hails anything America does it is bad news for America.

In awesome video game news:
A pretty good review of "Rock Band"

In ungrateful former Atlanta Braves players news:
Goodbye Andruw Jones...have fun in LA...hopefully you can do a little better than the Mendoza line for the Dodgers.

In 24 news:
Even Jack Bauer can’t escape a DUI conviction. Hopefully there will be no catastrophic terrorist plots in the next 48 days that conclude after exactly 24 hours.

In political news:
Huckabee takes a 3 point lead in the latest Rasmussen poll.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for December 5, 2007:

In tree hugger news:
NBC News anchor Brian Williams picks Mother Nature as Person Of The Year...good thing they don’t listen to him.

In its time to get a life news:
Michael Newdow is trying again to ban the pledge. Thank you Mr. Newdow for your heroic efforts so kids won’t have to say "God".

In French news:
France telecom giant Orange sells 30,000 I-Phones in 5 days...France immediately surrenders to Apple.

In the Hollywood writers strike news:
Reruns of Dexter could be making a move to CBS.

In perfect timing news:
Driving instructor is suing the makers of Borat.

In apparent oxymoron news:
It’s alright to be fat...just be fit. What?

In sexually suggestive headline writing news:
Business Week Headline writers must have been on strike.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for December 4, 2007:

In national debt news:
Thanks idiotic politicians who spend our money like its nothing.

In chimpanzees beating pothead college students news:
I tip my hat to you...chimpanzee.

In don't call me late for dinner news:
Man shows up 5 years after being "drowned".

In worst candidate ever news:
Hillary is accusing Obama of wanting to become President in kindergarten...yeah, good move Worst Candidate Ever.

In 1980's technology news:
AT&T will be getting out of the pay phone business.

In NFL news that isn't about Sean Taylor news:
Pats Win...Tom Brady still has a hot girlfriend.

In highly ironic news:
Mafia boss arrested while watching TV of a mafia boss getting arrested...that is rich.

TSTWBTAT

Sorry folks but there will not be TSTWBTAT on today's blog. I woke up later than usual and I need to get packed and ready to head home. However, on a positive note, I did earn 13,990 Hilton Honors points this trip. That is the most that I have gotten on a single trip. I am well on my way to the 200,000 points needed for my massive trip in August of next year.

TSTWBTAT

TSTWBTAT for November 29, 2007:

In good news for lazy people:
All you have to do is stand up to loose weight.

In "Armageddon" news:
What’s the big deal...just call Bruce Willis.

In stupid France news:
France Telecom is selling the unlocked I-Phone for $1100.

In thank God he is leaving the SEC news:
Michigan has permission to speak with Techno Bowl King Les Miles.

In creepy looking felon who won the lottery news:
He won $1 million in the lottery...ohhh but that’s against his probation...thats gotta suck.

In great news for the human race:
Britney Spears is NOT pregnant.