Bulldozer Attack?

From Reuters.com:

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - A Palestinian rammed a bulldozer into an Israeli commuter bus, cars and pedestrians on one of Jerusalem's busiest streets on Wednesday, killing at least three people and wounding dozens, emergency services said.

First off, the perpetual violence in the Middle East is one of man kind's worst failures. People have been fighting over various parts of this world for over 2,000 years. And to be perfectly honest - there's nothing special about it. It's a friggin' desert. Sure, there's billions of dollars in oil under the sand, but once that is gone, what's the attraction? Nothing.

Having said that, the best a Palestinian could come up with is a bulldozer attack? This sounds like a truth or dare contest turned bad. That, or this particular Palestinian didn't have the cojones to strap on a suicide bomb and fulfill Allah's will like a real man. No 72 virgins for this guy. He can expect a fat post-op tranny that smells like BO and bacon upon his entry into whatever Allah calls heaven.

And what's up with the bus driver not getting out of the way? It's not like bulldozers are high-speed vehicles or even turn quickly. Again, it's tragic, but being sick and twisted, I couldn't help thinking of this classic scene from Austin Powers:

Fun With Extremist Rhetoric

The good Reverend Wright is a big fan of James Hal Cone. Jimmy Cone wrote a pleasant book in 1969 titled Black Theology and Black Power. Here's an excerpt:

"Black theology refuses to accept a God who is not identified totally with the goals of the black community. If God is not for us and against white people, then he is a murderer, and we had better kill him. The task of black theology is to kill Gods who do not belong to the black community.... Black theology will accept only the love of God which participates in the destruction of the white enemy. What we need is the divine love as expressed in Black Power, which is the power of black people to destroy their oppressors here and now by any means at their disposal. Unless God is participating in this holy activity, we must reject his love."

Now, read it again, but this time replace the key words and phrases as follows:
- "Black theology" = Islam
- "Black community" = Muslim people
- "White people" = White people (ok, that was too easy to pass up. It should be "the west" or "Zionists")
- "Black power" = Jihad

Fits a little too easily, doesn't it?

Muslims are Innocent...of Everything

I tell you what - if there's one way to help a country accept your religion and be tolerant towards its believers, it's to go on national television and tell everyone who is not a member of your religion, that your God allows you to rape and kill non-believers.

Oh yeah, and don't forget to claim that every member of your religion ever is innocent of every crime ever. Because, as we all know, if you do something wrong in the name of striking deep into the belly of the infidel, than it's not really wrong, is it?

Yep - the top Muslim lawyer in England (which is about the same as "Expert Pig Latin speaker")* makes the above claims. You can read about and watch the interview here.

* A distinction should be made - if this lawyer is an actual member of the British bar that happens to be Muslim, than disregard the Pig Latin comment. If, however, he is an expert on Muslim law, than apply said comment. Along those lines, all it takes to be an "expert" in Muslim law is the ability to apply the following complex legal theories:

- Kill the infidel
- When in doubt, stone women to death
- Suicide bombing is an effective means of compromise
- Death to the Zionists

Dutch Filmmaker to Iran: You're Retarded

As you may remember, in 2005, the Muslim world slightly over-reacted to a Dutch political cartoon depicting Mohammad as some sort of suicide bomber. I have no idea why someone would connect Mohammad and suicide bombers, but they did. And since Islamic extremists are so rational, they promptly demanded the annihilation of all things Dutch and a boycott of all Dutch products in the Middle East. But this is old news, so I won't waste your time recounting all the insanity.

Now, there is a Dutch filmmaker who is daring to show the brutality and violence that seems to accompany radical Islam. According to an interview with Foxnews.com, Geert Wilders (the film maker) says that, "I believe our culture is much better than the retarded Islamic cultures." He also believes that the sharp increase of Muslim immigrants to The Netherlands and other western European countries is not a good thing (obviously).

His film depicts Islam is a less-than favorable light. Iran, being the bastion of tolerance and peace it is, has pretty much threatened The Netherlands with renewed riots and violence if the government allows the film to be shown. So it's not enough for Iran to be totalitarian and use fear and violence as a means of control in their own country, they somehow feel warranted in telling other countries how to do things.

It all goes back to the hypocritical mantra that you always hear from a supporter of these radical Islamic states: Islam is a religion of peace and tolerance. Ok, I'll go as far as saying that Islam can be a religion of peace and tolerance, but it seems that the governments of Syria, Saudi Arabia, Iran, and a couple other Middle East hot spots are becoming more and more dominated by Muslims that think it's cool to use violence and fear to spread the faith.

Anyway, before I get too deep (this is a humor-based blog, after all), kudos to Geert for calling the extremists out. Hopefully, he'll only be burned in effigy as opposed to the real thing.

Saudi King: Not Completely Retarded

From Foxnews.com:

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia — Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah has pardoned a female rape victim who had been sentenced to 200 lashes for being alone with a man at the time of the attack who was not related to her, a Saudi newspaper reported Monday.

In an effort to be fair to the religion of peace (Islam), I try to report good news along with the bad (most recently, the father in Canada who killed his daughter for not wearing appropriate Islamic clothing). Thus, today, I bring you a good story about Islam.

The Saudi King saw fit to pardon a woman. She was guilty of being alone with a man who is not related to her. I don't remember if the rapists was convicted of anything (and too lazy to do the search right now), but I'm sure that the woman's insolence was the primary cause for the rape, and not the obvious mental problems of the rapists.

So the Saudi King seems to have a semi-working brain - or at least he realizes how barbaric and a**-backwards it is to charge and then convict the victim of a rape for being alone with a man. However, the legal system seems to need some tweaking. One, why is a law like this still on the books? And two, why did the jury (or whatever system they use) feel compelled to use it? Do they still try to chop off thieves hands? I remember seeing that in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

But before I start on a rant (this is a good news story after all), I will leave it at - Good job, Saudi King. Let's hope I can do more good Islam stories.

P.S. - William briefly mentioned this a few days ago in TSTWBTA. Give credit where credit is due.

This Day In History

From www.history.com/this-day-in-history.do


On this day in 1991, Islamic militants in Lebanon release kidnapped American journalist Terry Anderson after 2,454 days in captivity. As chief Middle East correspondent for the Associated Press, Anderson covered the long-running civil war in Lebanon (1975-1990). On March 16, 1985, he was kidnapped on a west Beirut street while leaving a tennis court. His captors took him to the southern suburbs of the city, where he was held prisoner in an underground dungeon for the next six-and-a-half years.

Anderson was one of 92 foreigners (including 17 Americans) abducted during Lebanon's bitter civil war. The kidnappings were linked to Hezbollah, or the Party of God, a militant Shiite Muslim organization formed in 1982 in reaction to Israel’s military presence in Lebanon. They seized several Americans, including Anderson, soon after Kuwaiti courts jailed 17 Shiites found guilty of bombing the American and French embassies there in 1983. Hezbollah in Lebanon received financial and spiritual support from Iran, where prominent leaders praised the bombers and kidnappers for performing their duty to Islam.

U.S. relations with Iran--and with Syria, the other major foreign influence in Lebanon--showed signs of improving by 1990, when the civil war drew to a close, aided by Syria's intervention on behalf of the Lebanese army. Eager to win favor from the U.S. in order to promote its own economic goals, Iran used its influence in Lebanon to engineer the release of nearly all the hostages over the course of 1991.

Anderson returned to the U.S. and was reunited with his family, including his daughter Suleme, born three months after his capture. In 1999, he sued the Iranian government for $100 million, accusing it of sponsoring his kidnappers; he received a multi-million dollar settlement.

Naming Things Muhammad

Given the situation that is happening right now in The Sudan with the British school teacher about to get publicly lashed because she named a teddy bear Muhammad I have decided to come up with a list of things that I will soon name Muhammad to piss off Islamic extremist:

1. My pet pig



2. Alcohol will now be known as "Muhammad Juice"



3. Eye boogers from dogs



4. AIDS



5. Hippies

That is an incomplete list...so if you have any suggestions let me let me have it. I know that most Muslims are very good people and feel that this teddy bear situation is ridiculous. However this list is for the idiots that live in The Sudan and think that this teacher deserves it. If you happen to know any of those people, please forward this blog to them.

For those who would like to know how a lashing feels here is an account from some poor bastard who was accused of breaking an alcohol ban in the "moderate" state of Qatar. I really can't wait till these people join us in the 21st Century.